Chapter 6 　　

It's nothing. The climate is very similar to the mainland recently. It's dry and cool. It's cold in the morning and evening, but there's a very comfortable sun at noon.Carlo and I also wore scarves at the same time, and their scarves are of the same taste, woolen, mine is a dark green gray mixed, hers is a delicious coffee milk yellow.Carlo gave me a photo taken when I saw the tank on Nanhai Road on the eve of the National Day. I hid in the iron fence of the botanical garden and took the picture for her. Carlo stood in front of the tank with air, very military-like, I like it very much Yes, just like my pair of jeans, there are some metal rings at the back or something, and they always clank when walking, which makes people think of Mrs. Sun's room with soldiers, and Xuande's heart is always serious.Carlo wrote two lines on the back of the photo, To Missouri Shrimp From Cambridge Carlo.We swore that I would study journalism, she would study politics, and Carlo made up his mind at a very young age that he would study at Cambridge in the future, so naturally I would study at Missouri, and the two of them would do good things for the country in the future.

Go to school after church.The playground outside is extremely lively, the school celebration is coming soon, they are probably practicing the brigade relay, the white line on the track on the playground is so clear, I suddenly put down the book, and ran to the window on the second floor of the Guangfu Building where the cat and I used to feel. , still nothing has changed, but I don't feel anything anymore, maybe the weather is too cold. In the afternoon, we met Xiaojing and Juer at the school gate. We were planning to go to Yangmingshan to see Fenghong today, but the weather changed and it was raining, so the three of us went to the activity center to watch the folk song competition hosted by the Youth Chamber of Commerce .I insisted on waiting until it was over before leaving, not only because I love to hear them sing, but also because I especially like the girl's sweet and lazy voice, long fluttering hair, with her hands in the pockets of her denim skirt, and the boy beside her Holding the guitar and closing your eyes, you will think of the Three Musketeers, Xiaohan and Yiyang, and if you think of Xiaohan's words, there will be a good scene in front of you!Tell Xiaojing that in college, I must talk about some of his love affairs fiercely.

Physical education class, folk dance, the music that Mr. Zhang is playing now is Stars and Flowers, a dance for a girl who wants to be a top. Qiao couldn't remember how to do it, so she asked Mr. Zhang to do it.After turning around again and again, I caught a glimpse of Joe's expression on the sidelines, and thought of a time when Xiao Tong and I were walking along Chongqing South Road, and happened to meet Qiao who was reading at the door of the bookstore.Is it right now that I should be gentle and refrain from flirting?I do not know. Teacher Zhang is a well-known physical education teacher in the school. I don't know if it's because of his strictness or because of his appearance.He looks very good, like a Westerner, with thick hair, deep outline, dark and bright eyes, but he often gives me a very strange feeling, sometimes it seems very deep, sometimes it is really shallow, because he loves Bickering with classmates in the class, although he is mostly justified, is still very inappropriate.I thought of Supervisor Kou's words, a person's behavior is not commensurate with his status, he is humble.But Mr. Zhang is still a very good teacher, and he is also a good dancer.

Heaven and man have been at war all day, and after school, I still can't help but pick up my schoolbag, go to Jinling with Juer and Xiaojing, go shopping in the market in the city, and stay in school tomorrow to study.But I wanted to go to that Chinese medicine store again after wandering around. Luckily, Juer understood the righteousness, and there were still several subjects to take exams tomorrow, so the three of them walked to Chongqing South Road in dismay and waited for the bus. In the evening, after finishing the book in a hurry, I lay on the sofa and listened to my father playing the flute. It was Yangguan Sandie. It was so close. After a while, Yiyang called, and my father answered it. I thought of Yangguan Sandie. It was not scary, so I pretended to be asleep, and my father hung up the phone and said, Yiyang asked you to get rid of Wushan is not the meaning of the cloud, sleepy and tired.

I had a dream, I was in a dry, cool, light green and lavender world, first Yiyang, Xiaohan and I sat on the sunny grass and had a picnic, it was a spring day in England, and then they went for a horse race, my husband, it was a very strong A very strong man, he was looking at a girl in a red dress, and then I sang a serenade by the pool alone, Like a golden dream, and he came back after a while, riding on a tall white horse, bending Come down and wrap your arms around my shoulders, like Rhett did. Today I really stayed in school to study, the effect was good, I went home at 8 o'clock, got off 47, saw the twinkling stars of the day, and thought of an article I saw in Reader's Digest two days ago, about the night sky in December is the brightest.At this time, I suddenly wished that Yiyang was by my side. He would recognize many stars and point them out to me. Well, that’s Orion. The bright one at the hunter’s feet is Sirius, the α star of the Canis constellation. The twin stars, the faint ones are the seven fairies, and I want to point them out to Yiyang, the big and bright seven are the Big Dipper, meandering from the sky to the willow tree in the backyard of our house.

In the afternoon, the whole school had to practice the opening ceremony of the school celebration, and there was a two-hour break for lunch. Xiaoyuan said that she would take us on an adventure.Xiaoyuan is an out-of-town student from Douliu, with a strong temper. She moved to find a house every three days, and broke up with her partner again. She refers to the landlord.Xiaoyuan has always been a very strange character in class. Some people annoy her and dislike her, while others can get along well with her and play wildly. I am the latter.Whenever we are together with her, the two of us can't stop playing tricks. Sometimes I can't get enough of her, but as long as she calls Zhu Xiaomiao, I can't get enough of her. Xiao Yuan often says that I look like a genius Awake cat.She likes to sing, and she sings well. She used to be the director of the school choir when she was in middle school. She can also dance very well, ballet, and has a pair of long and beautiful legs.The two entangled for a year, and concluded that after entering university, they must join the national drama club and choose clowns to act.

Xiaoyuan is currently living in the big village between Zhongshan South Road and Xinyi Road, where the Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall is being planned to be built. The house is about to be demolished. The next door to Xiaoyuan’s landlord is the former home of the former Vice President Chen Cheng, which has been abandoned. Xiaoyuan said a long time ago that she would take me on an adventure. After a hasty lunch, Xiaoyuan, Juer, and Xiaojing and I set off.The quiet courtyard under the winter sun at noon gave me a taste of childhood in the Mississippi River written by Mark Twain. At this moment, I want to be that urchin Tom Sawyer.The house is big and dark. There is a statue in the middle of the living room, but it is strange. Part of the statue is still very new and wet. It seems that someone left here in a hurry. We can't help but have goosebumps. There are a pair of pure eyes behind.Going further inside, there is a corridor room facing the courtyard. The courtyard outside is really wild and grassy. Some morning glories crawled into the floor of the house through the window cracks, and the white sunlight is also lying on the floor. Quiet, I found that everyone was talking loudly on purpose, and it was still quiet after speaking, and it became even quieter, only the sound of our breathing remained.

Just about to go back home, Xiao Jing hissed, opened her eyes wide and said that a figure flashed past just now, and Juer hurriedly said that she had heard the sound of opening and closing the door a long time ago, and then the four of them turned their heads suddenly Just run, run desperately, kill me as the queen! The screen door was opened again and again, after hundreds of years of ping-pong-pong-pong, and finally ran outside on the sunny ground. The four of them looked at each other and laughed loudly, still panting, their cheeks flushed.ah!One day I will definitely write a story under the winter sun, starting like this, that winter

In the evening, I went to Taiying to watch the trial film, The Encounter of Monte Cristo, which was very bad, not only because I always hated Richard Chamberlain, but this is too old-fashioned movie.The other one is Peter O'Toole's, Murphy's War. The thing to express is good, but the performance is too bad. My sister and I are tired of watching it. We have a big meal to make up for it. I ate three bowls of oysters. Mianxian, I don’t know why I’m so tired today, I think, maybe it’s warm, it smells like Mayday, maybe it’s because of the sentence in Yiyang’s letter yesterday, good girl, no one has called me a good girl for a long time, I even Excited and don't remember what happened.

I just slumped on the sofa all day, watched three feature films in the dark, Philadelphia Story, Love in the Stone, and Love of a Stranger. I felt very excited after watching Mo, and thought in a daze that if I was bored by marriage in the future Well, just marry a simple-minded and careless person, now I am too afraid of fine-grained things, people, I hope that people in the whole world will keep silent about life, life.Today is a really tiring day. Tomorrow is the school day, so everyone is going crazy all day long. In the evening, I went to Zhongshan Hall with Xiaojing to listen to the concert of the Taipei Philharmonic Chorus. My father, older sister, and younger sister also went because my mother is a member of the Philharmonic.The program is divided into two parts. The first half is Handel’s sacred music, and the second half is POP. I especially like to watch my mother sing POP. It doesn't look like Mom is twice the age of either of the troupe members.My mother loves to sing, and it has always been her wish to join a good choir.This summer, my mother saw the news in the newspaper that the Philharmonic was recruiting new members, and it took a lot of courage to be cruel, and she even asked me to help out.During the exam, my mother always wanted to retreat, because they were all so young!Philharmonic was founded and managed by a few college students based on their interests. Most of the people who participated were still studying. Fortunately, I kept dragging my mother to prevent her from escaping.

The optional song for the exam was On the Jialing River. On that day, the enemy attacked my hometown, and I lost my home, family, cattle and sheep.Now that I am wandering on the Jialing River, I seem to smell the aroma of the soil in my hometown. My mother sang with her eyes closed.My mother's childhood was during the Japanese occupation of Taiwan, and she was ignorant as a child. The most vicious curse words were nothing but, you are Roosevelt!You are Song Meiling!But for a mother who came out of such an environment, her love and confidence in the country often make me feel ashamed.Mother's love and confidence is nameless. She may not be able to recite the name of the dean of the Fifth Academy, and every item of the top ten constructions, but she always says that our hometown in Shandong is like this and our hometown in Shandong is like that.Every time the family went to worship on the sunny road, my mother would always take two steps and said that after returning to the mainland in the future, we will also take our grandparents to worship like this, and go to eat after the church In one scene, my mother never thought that my grandparents were over ninety years old.In April, after reading so many articles mourning him, I like General Wedemeyer's and Xiaofeng's crape the most.General Wedemeyer's is about the heroic sympathy in the long life, which reminds me of my grandfather's words. In Chinese poems, there is the afterglow of Tyranny. In fact, the heroic deeds are in the afterglow of the long time, which will always exist, immortal and immortal.Because the most real existence is like a dream.Heisha's feelings are also nameless, indescribable and unclear. It is not just for a great man who fought in the Eastern Expedition, the Northern Expedition, resisted the Japanese, and suppressed bandits, but a kind of affection, a kind of affection to the heavenly father and parents. Death, our crying is not just because of their upbringing or success, we will never know why we love them so much, but it is these unspeakable feelings that are the most touching. The school celebration, like the weather, is golden wind and cold white dew. The cat is the guard of honor. We hugged her and called her. She wrinkled her nose at us while changing formation, but she didn’t smile very brightly. I know this is their last performance, and I will hand over to them in the future. A sophomore in high school will feel melancholy, even me.I remember the first time the cat put on the honor guard uniform and went to the airport to welcome the wife of the Prime Minister of Lesotho. On December 6 last year, the cat was well dressed and looked very good. I laughed and said that I would send my husband to the battlefield. The cat said She was going to sing "Young Soldiers", the two had a hasty laugh, the cat left, and the bright white boots rattled on the promenade of Guangfu Building. I leaned against the door of the classroom and looked at her. I really felt like a young wife. Cat, I will recite a poem of Taibai for you, the concubine sends a first answer, folds flowers and plays in front of the door; Lang rides a bamboo horse to make green plums around the bed.Living together in Changqian, the two little ones have no suspicions.Fourteen is a gentleman's wife, she has not yet opened her face; she bows her head to the dark wall, and calls her every thousand times.At the fifteenth day, I raised my eyebrows, wishing to be with the dust and ashes; how can I go to the watchman's platform if I always keep my faith in the pillar?The sixteenth king travels far away, the cat in Yanyudui, Qutang, we are seventeen years old. The little ghost brought a camera, and a bunch of buddies took photos everywhere, it really felt like parting.In front of the courthouse, there was a peddler selling marshmallows. We each asked for one, and waited for everyone to get it all together to take a photo, but the wind was too strong, and the candy melted quickly. The still cotton candy has been blown into an empty stick by the wind.The little ghost also had a mournful face, and there was only a small group of gray cotton wool hanging tremblingly on her stick.After taking the photo, I still licked it, only to feel that the bamboo stick was astringent and green, and the sugar juice was sticking to my hand, so I was very sad. In the evening, I went to Xinsheng with Carlo and her younger brother Zhenghong to watch the prison situation.I have seen Zhenghong a few times. The students in the first year of Jianzhong High School are more delicate than Carlo, and they always keep quiet. After thinking about it, it is probably because the feminism in the Carlo family is too arrogant. The girls in the Carlo family are not studying. Law is to attack politics, and all of them are O-shaped, but I believe that Zhenghong is still a boy who can control himself very well, it can be seen. I don't know if the movie is good or not, because I dozed off halfway and fell asleep.Recently, people are always tired, and I can't help but worry about my health. My liver is not very good. I have started to take medicine for the past two days. Unfortunately, the side effect of this medicine is drowsiness. Well, in the third year of high school, the past has become empty, and it is still like a dream.Carlo's health was even worse, with a lot of small problems, a bad stomach, and migraines every afternoon when his head reached the point, and Carlo's skin was said to be shattered in the book, and he often walked from the classroom door to the seat, I just knocked off a piece of skin from the corner of the table with my hand, and there was no blood. Carlo also said, it was fun. In the evening we went to the Zhonghua Gymnasium to watch the performance of the Spanish Orphan Circus. Our seats were in the arena, and we could see it more clearly than anyone else, but we were dazzled by the sound of bass drums, but the atmosphere was really good, lively and lively. compact.In the end, each of their members presented a red rose to the audience, and two boys also came forward and handed it to Carlo and me. I like their looks very much. Someone once said that Spain is the most beautiful person in the world. Kind of, I don’t know, I just think westerners are good-looking if they have black hair and black eyes, such as Elizabeth Taylor, Natalie Hua, and Ann Margaret among the female stars. When I got home, I received a maple leaf from Li Zhou. It was not big, but it was red and complete. I looked at it against the fluorescent lamp and thought about how it would look in the sun. After writing the diary, I put the rose and maple leaf in it. , close a deep and melancholy dream. In the morning, the family went to worship, and when they met Xiaohan at the station, they took him to go with them.Pray again, may Heavenly Father protect Xiaohan, he is someone who needs you very much. After church, I went to Heping East Road to eat beef noodles and red oil Chaoshou. It was really spicy. Watching a feature film at night, Walking in the Rain, by Bergman and Anthony Kun, I was surprised that Anthony Kun gave me the feeling of Yiyang, especially the kind of deep and understanding smile, which made me sad. It was a spring day with a cool sun, but I I think of the song Lan Siluo, the knight of the round table, sang to Queen Arthur, vaguely, one day I have to leave you, not on a bright spring day, not on a summer night when the nightingale is singing, not on a bleak autumn, and even less In the cold winter, Yiyang makes me sad. It's maddeningly cold!I hope the sun will come out early so that I can live and study well. I got up late again and didn't go to class.It’s been like this for the past two days, I don’t care about absenteeism, I sit with my father by the electric heater all day long, while my father writes manuscripts, and I sit on the small bench and play with Xiaolan. Xiaolan is a newly adopted little white cat at home. Pair of icy, nervous blue eyes.I like this kind of life very much, like back when I was a child, my father and I sat by the fire like this, and my father opened a book and read it to me. It was about Nuwa mending the sky, so I still like it Playing with picking up rocks and touching the dirt, because what I touch is the sky, it may not be certain, and I may be that Nuwa.My mother spends the winter with us more often, and reads my father's novel Lock the Shell Door and the Wolf. Up to now, I still often think of that piece of desolate yellow sand, because my father wrote: The yellow sand that can't be seen at a glance, the sky is connected to the ground, and the ground is connected to the sky, and there is no grass.The cloudy sky covering this huge dry lake also looks unusually low.The old Yellow River once rushed into this dry lake, looting an unknown number of people, animals and crops on this land.The era has been forgotten. The yellow sand under the old Yellow River buried the land and the life on the land. All vitality seems to have given up to fight against the disaster. The yellow sand that has been extinct for thousands of years buried the land and the life on the land. Vitality seems to have given up fighting against disasters, and has been hidden in the depths of the earth for thousands of years. In the windy season of the lingering winter, the strong wind will howl regardless of day and night, and the sun, moon and stars will be covered by the yellow muddy mist, and the sky and the earth will be lost. My mother often told me that we are Chinese and our hometown is in a cave (Shandong). In a cave? The sky cleared up at night, with the moon and stars. Today's moon is like a poached egg, and the surrounding people are not very clear. Physical education class, sit-up test, I was really embarrassed, I fell to the ground after doing two, Ren Juer was jumping anxiously, and Xiao Su, who was pressing my leg, did her hands and feet, I was still helpless Dude, that's the end of it. After school, I went with Xiaojing, Carlo, Agui, and Zhenghong to the state guest to watch the second episode of The Godfather.It's also very good, but I still like the first episode, probably because Marlon Brando's acting skills are too impressive.It's strange why movies can't become an art in China?I often heard my father talk about the Chinese movies during and just after the war of resistance against Japan. There were a lot of good things.Maybe the Shaw Brothers are to blame. Today I made an appointment with Xiaojing to go to school to study, to study mathematics, and I was so dazed that I was thinking about whether to eat fried buns or leek boxes for lunch, or to go farther to the old Shandong behind the state guest to eat homemade food Noodles are also available. I haven’t been to the Wenzhou Wonton on the second floor of the shopping mall opposite Xinsheng for a long time. Xiao Jing couldn’t help laughing out loud when she saw my obsessive appearance. Only then did I realize that my math calculation paper was covered with these foods. Name, I think I'm hopeless, I'm really full of brains.I have never been exposed to mathematics in the second year of high school, and I can't afford to read it now, so I just give up and forget it, and concentrate on reading something else, like English, I like English very much, and I will have much more confidence in myself when I read English.Oh no matter. In the evening, the whole family went to Uncle Zhang Yongxiang's house to eat hot pot, including Uncle Xianxian and Aunt Qiaoqiao, Uncle Bowu and Aunt Xiaoman, Ye Shan and Shaocong.If only Yiyang was here, he likes Ye Shan's prose the most, and he has read the diary of Dehui Street to me several times.I also drank some wine today, half a bottle of Munich beer.Uncle Bowu was slightly drunk again, still talking about music excitedly, just like the time when he was still a bachelor and often went to our house to drink and chat. From Xian Xinghai, Nie Er to Gu Jiahui, I really like listening to and watching Bowu Uncle sang a few lines, and then tears streamed down his face. He wiped his fishy hands on his suit pants after eating crabs. If I were Aunt Xiaoman, I would not marry Uncle Bowu, because How can I compare to his music and China! In the middle of the night, our family will go home singing in harmony, and wake up all the ghosts on the mountain.I also yelled in the middle of my sister's soprano, aha, I am a madman of Chu, singing and laughing at Kong Qiu, like a painted face in a Ping opera. In fact, I love Confucius very much, and I respect him, but I like it too much. The first sentence is over, I am a madman! I was urgently summoned by the Discipline Office early in the morning. The person summoned was Teacher Qi, who was in charge of student attendance records. She was fluent in Beijing movies, which made people feel wronged as soon as they heard it. It was very scary, but this time it was my fault.How do you become a district captain!I don't believe that there is another class that is as full-time as yours every day when you cover up your classmates like this!It turned out that I was in a daze when I asked for leave and was late, and I completely forgot about raising the flag and roll call, so I had to tell the truth. This is still a reason!Take a look, the number 22 in your class was actually late five times last week, and was still absent from class the other day!You, the district captain, let her do it!Uh, number 22, I'm sorry, Mr. Qi, I am the number 22.Teacher Qi was so angry that he pushed me in front of the chief instructor.After working on it for a long time, it is said that I have to record a major demerit, but in fact it doesn’t matter, it will be recorded in my stupid account so that I can cheer up and be the monitor in the future. I don't want to be accused of crimes.After all, I still don’t like it and can’t be the class leader, not to mention weddings and funerals. The most terrible thing is that my work efficiency is extremely poor, and I always make a mess of the class.But I also have my reasons, after all, I am not the material to be the district captain. Today is Christmas, the weather is cold and dry, probably the windows are closed, and the faces of the students are all red with boredom.We put a Christmas card on each subject's teacher's desk. I really like to see their faces when they open the card. I think of the way the junior high school celebrated.When each teacher stepped into the classroom, the whole class sang the song taught by English teacher Miss Xiao: I wish you a merry Christmas! I wish you a merry Christmas! I wish you a merry Christmas! And happy new year. Every teacher always smiles foolishly on the podium, and everyone can't stop laughing after singing, and they don't know why, and everyone's cheeks are flushed. I will never forget the one in the dark Jing Xuetang beautiful moment.Deng was careful, and also sent a Christmas card to his former English teacher, hoping that he will be well forever, because he is so good. After school, he was not in a hurry to go home, and went to Changsha Street with Juer and Xiaojing to look at the maple trees in front of General Zhou Zhirou's residence.This maple tree is the most beautiful maple tree recommended by me after I have seen all over Taipei City. It is not like other people who will immediately become scorched when they turn from green to red. It is always completely red to the end, which is very beautiful.This tree was discovered by Carlo. The next day he found it, he dragged me to look at it, and the two of them quietly looked at it under the tree. For a long time, some passers-by gathered on the side of the road and looked up. But just leave after looking at it, most of them don’t know what to look at, is it the sorrow of modern people?Ah, I didn't expect to be sarcastic, it's not good.Carlo said that we are the veterans of the three dynasties, and it is indeed not bad. There have been three buses on the 47th bus, and the 47th bus has always been the most difficult to wait for. In the end, Xiaojing, Juer and I did not forget to take a trip to Chongqing South Road. Every year, the Christmas atmosphere on Chongqing South Road is the best and the purest. The whole store is brightly lit, and the whole street is also resounding with Christmas bells. music.Swinging from one end of the street to the other, I just bought a bunch of thin silver tinsel. It's time for Dad to put up the Christmas tree at home. There is only one guest in Yiyang. He and our family sang hymns all night. Dad is bass, mother and I are alto, older sister and younger sister are soprano, and Yiyang is singing tenor.Then my parents listened to music in the living room, and Yiyang and I went out to the yard to look at the sky, like an old-fashioned story. Tonight the stars are freezing in the sky and shivering. Yiyang pointed me to Hunter and Sanxing. Yiyang likes Hunter the most. He once wrote a poem, Orion Star, but I like his other one better, Yiyang thinks it is not good to make a promise. There is rose fragrance in the yard, there is Marseillaise, thinking of Napoleon and distant Marseilles, I want to tell Yiyang, but he suddenly grabs my hand, we will be silent for a while, until the entrance exam, okay?I nodded quickly, this is what I wished, because I am a good girl, and I like to be a good girl, so I don't want to hurt anyone, as the days go on, I will hurt people, I will.Yiyang always makes people sad, but I want my heavenly father to keep me a good baby, as always. The Christmas gift my parents gave me was a very beautiful Bible. On the title page, my father wrote, "Faith, hope, love, the biggest of which is love."In the quiet night, I opened the Bible. From Genesis, I watched Adam and Eve, Cain, Abel, and Abraham. The days when I was lying on my mother’s lap and listening to the manger and the Holy Child seemed to appear again. I hurried to the bed I pray on the window of my house, may the heavenly Father protect our family cats and dogs, my crabapple leaves, thousands of people in the world, the moonlight shrouds my body, I close my eyes and believe that I am now like a manger As pure as the holy baby, the mountain wind blows slightly, soft and cool, I dare not open my eyes, for fear of disturbing the peace of this world, the hem of the heavenly father's white robe is brushing my cheek, I I didn't dare to move at all, I laughed, and just waited for my heavenly father to take me to fly into the sapphire blue starry sky, this time it was no longer a dream. I was watching a feature film in the afternoon, and Joe came with Brother Wei and Ding Tingyu.Brother Wei just lied to me a while ago to work hard and not to play too often on the stage, so as not to use up the amount of time I should have spent at National Taiwan University, but I like him very much, not only because of his elegance and gentleness, And he looks like he should be called Brother Wei from birth. He has a stubborn heart for learning, which is very good. One evening, I saw Ding Tingyu talking enthusiastically with his father about politics, the country, and what young people are doing for the country. I really like his ambition and patriotism. You need to work hard, he reminds me of a boy who said that the article is trivial and that he is very talented. I clearly remember the current situation of the bandit army on the Russian border and the growth and decline of the forces during it, but it’s over after listening to it. It was my grandfather who said it. People in today’s society only know the conditions, and the opportunities and opportunities they talk about are actually just condition.The mechanism lies in the movement of yin and yang, while the conditions are only material.For the machine, it depends on the feeling, but for the condition, it only needs to collect and process the information, and the computer can also judge the situation based on these conditions.But now the Americans and the Russian Communist Party are the ones who don't understand the general trend of the world the most.In Western history, once the Roman Empire was destroyed by the invasion of only tens of thousands of barbarians, it is impossible to explain it accurately based on the conditions at that time.This is not to say that you should not collect and process information and use computers to sort it out, but that you should know what is wrong and keep what is dark in everything. If you really use a computer to calculate clearly, I don’t want to live this life, even for the unknown. Means nothing! Grandpa speaks best on the radio, and the thirty-first chapter of Magu Zhenxi circling the bed in the Biyanlu of Zen Buddhism is the best. The original text of the thirty-first chapter is as follows: Example: Ma Gu took the tin to Zen Master Huaihui in Zhangjing Temple, walked around the Zen bed three times, shook the tin once, and it stood upright. Zhang Jingyun: Yes.Ma Gu went to Zen Master Nanquan again, circled the Zen bed three times, shook the tin once, and stood upright, Quan said: No, no.Magu said at the time: Zhang respects Taoism, why is monk Taoism not?Quan Yun: That is Zhang Jing.Yes you are not.This is the turn of the wind, and it will eventually fail. This koan is best explained with an example.When the founding father united with the Russian Communist Party, someone used it to talk about it, but it was not the person who said it.Later, the late President Chiang Kai-shek opposed the Communist Party against Russia. If you refute it with the father of the country’s alliance with Russia and the Communist Party, it is your fault. Yes, but if you criticize the founding father or the left-leaning intellectuals after the May 4th Movement and criticize Chiang Kai-shek based on the evil deeds of today’s bandits, you are all wrong, because what is made by the wind will eventually be destroyed. This is how the Roman Empire is, yes Right and wrong are born at the end of action, the so-called wind force.If you break away from this machine, that is, whether it is right or wrong, it will all be corrupted.Grandpa said that the original Buddhist scriptures say that right and wrong are both illusions, and that right and wrong are the same.Zen Buddhism says that there is right and wrong.Buddhism is negation and action, while Chinese Zen is affirmative action. Right and wrong come from action. Grandpa's words hit the nail on the head everywhere, and they are Chinese.I remember when I just finished reading Luqiao’s Son of Man article, I always felt that something was wrong somewhere, but I couldn’t understand it.The son of man is talking about a little prince in India who came back from learning Taoism and had to pass the test given to him by his master. His master turned into good and evil, and ordered him to kill evil and live good. However, he was beheaded by the master with a sword.Rather than killing a good person by mistake, the little prince would rather be killed himself, so as to achieve enlightenment.Grandpa said that it was the philosophy of Brahmans. If it was Liu Bang of the Han nationality, he would make a decisive decision and chop it off with a single knife.This is the loudness of history.Right and wrong, success and failure are at the moment of an announcement, and it is possible to pull out the banner of Zhao and change the banner of Han with a single order, and the strong wind blows the flood of history to change its direction. Recently, I have become obsessed with the home-cooked noodles of Old Shandong after eating state guests.Every day after school, we stayed in the classroom to study. Juer taught me math, but she didn’t allow me to give up. I taught her English, and then we taught Xiaojing to read history and geography together, because Xiaojing was in the natural group in her second year of high school. Reading history and geography is very difficult.It's cold, and my classmates love to run home as soon as school is over.Often there are only the three of us in the big classroom, but we are full of joy. While reading, we think about the hot and spicy homemade noodles that are smoking. I just ran, ran to the back of the school and took the bus, and went to Laoshandong to eat home-cooked noodles. This time I will order a big bowl. After reading Genesis, I think Joseph is probably type A. After thinking about it for a few days, today Juer and I decided to get soft contact lenses.My myopia is 700 degrees, but I don't like it and I don't wear it often, because my nose bridge is not high, and my heavy glasses tend to slide down, and I don't stop when they slide to the nose. It's scary to look like an old woman.In fact, myopia life without glasses is quite good, every day is like a dream, and the college entrance examination has become a white gate, decayed and loose, and it can't hinder my way, my sister said When you take off your glasses, you will think of the ups and downs of the officialdom. After church, I accompanied my sister to the bookstore, walking on the red brick road in the strong wind, and I always used to protect my sister from being hit by pedestrians or getting hit by potholes on the road arrive.I heard from my mother that when I was very young, my sister was a crazy girl and I was not, but as long as I played outside, I always wanted to protect my sister and not allow anyone to bully her.The current elder sister is not a crazy girl anymore, she looks very classic, with a white oval face, big black eyes, slightly flying towards the hair temples, small red lips like water chestnuts, she is the most incompetent for the world, In interpersonal situations, she is simply a naive and pitiful child, who needs to be taught step by step and carefully cared for, but in the field of learning and literature, I have to look up and watch her talk again. I like to listen to her talk, although there are a lot of false words, but they are all right. When it comes to Uncle Yan Yuan, Teacher Yan's Western literature attainments are indeed the best in modern China, but the kind of teacher Yan who takes Western literature as his outlook on life Standard is wrong, because we are Chinese, we should stand on the Chinese standard to learn and absorb Western literature knowledge, which is what my grandfather said, to teach young people to learn the teachings of the founding father, and at the same time to teach young people to learn the academic methods of the founding father.That is to learn from the father of the country to read the Five Classics and Four Books as the foundation, and to learn Western knowledge from a different perspective, so that we can generate our own new ideas.This also does not mean that we should abandon Western knowledge, but that we are Chinese, we must first stand on our own standard, of course, this does not negate Mr. Yan’s patriotism, but Mr. Yan thinks that we must be deeply influenced by Western literature. It can be regarded as a glimpse into the hall of literature, but this is wrong. Mr. Yan should be careful not to love only to harm others. To love China is not just enough to have a firm anti-Communist attitude, but also to love this country, especially if the things in this country may be It is the rarest treasure in the world. Today is Ju'er's birthday. On January 10th, we went to Shilin to eat as usual, and then walked the long Zhongshan North Road back.Since there are still a few review exams in two days, it is difficult to find Deng and Mao Mao who are more diligent. In the afternoon, there are only three of Juer, Xiaojing and me, and we are not alone, because the sky is so blue today, and the sun is dancing beside us Noisy.Today we finally made that oath. In my ice cream shop, we will be admitted to National Taiwan University, and we will teach Ju'er to bike during the summer vacation, so that the three of us can fly on the Coconut Grove Road together for four years. Before I left Shilin, I bought sweet potatoes at the intersection, which was my father's favorite.Someone patted me on the shoulder from behind, and I turned my head to look. A boy with long hair didn't speak, just smiled at me.Oops I don't know who you are.He tilted his head, smiled, and the sun shone on his face, yes, it was a child Oh, I don't remember what he said for a long time, I vaguely said that your hair is so long first, and he said that it was longer and reached your shoulders.The people around were so noisy and crowded, it was Saturday, the weekend, and the wind was so strong that I brushed the hair off my face before I had time, thinking of the last scene in my past, Barbra Streisand, who was downcast but still clinging to her ideals, in the windy winter You meet Robert Redford in the middle of the street, and then the music is supposed to start, but what now?落魄的是小童，我不是說我知道小童是個高四生。小童你現在還跳舞嗎？小童也沒說話，臉好瘦，我想他也許很用功的，因為他到底是個聰明的人。 你讀得怎麼樣？very good.大約不是謊話罷，我答得很快。 要走了，小童也不說話，只是笑，只是笑。一會兒，我們就各自回頭走了，也不難過，不知道是因為今天是個太好的天，橘兒的生日，大風大太陽的天，還是世事原都是好的，雖然曲曲折折。 我們又走了一次中山北路的紅磚路，還是發誓，我最多，最願意。 魏哥哥知道我愛看電影，今天就請我去景美戲院看一部以前我沒看過的好片子，男歡女愛，A man and A woman。魏哥哥現正念地質研究所，這回是當了助教第一次領薪水。去之前，魏哥哥一定要去替我借件外套，因為我剛從學校下課趕來，還穿著制服，可是應該沒關係的呀！I said.進了戲院才知道真有關係，放眼望去，滿院全是男的，沒見一個女孩，大約是這部電影的名字譯得太引人遐思，而且這部片子之前還有一部略黃的片子，裘林諾傑馬的，我一向知道裘林諾傑馬不好，但沒想到他會淪落到這個地步，都替他難過了。 男歡女愛實在是真好，輕輕淡淡的卻不小氣，導演必是個有才情的人，我很想認識他，與他說話。不過這個片子是不能學的，世間最好與最壞的都是絕對的，不能學的，但此刻我極想學學它的味道來寫篇小說或散文，一定會寫得極糟，但糟得好。 晚上我一人躺在床上讀書，讀讀卻哼起了男歡女愛的主題曲，這曲子我原先就會唱的，是安迪威廉唱過的，但他唱得出奇的香艷，不如原曲的輕靈好，但我還是要唱But yesterday came so suddenly with a warm and precious memories 爺爺後天要回日本了，今天抽空下山來我們家玩。喝喝酒，聊了一個小通宵，想起小瀚說過他最喜歡巴山夜雨的氣氛，是呀，人生千萬個夜能有幾次呢！聽爺爺說公案、說學問、說天下大勢，世間林林總總不過像翻開一頁老書，話說。還有我定要記件大事，爺爺說看了我會想到史記高祖本紀裡子長描寫高祖的話，龍顏，因為我有一個高高的額和一對圓圓眼睛，若我是個男孩子我一定是高祖不是嗎？爺爺說，尤其中國的經史子集都要讀，我又要急了，因為才悚然發覺自己真是空費了十七年，急啊！我該怎麼好！ 晚上臨睡前看了一下香港的明報月刊，看了都哭了，A 1 policy，一個美國記者寫的。其實看看題目也約莫知道是在說些什麼，但看完了才知人一迷失了心就會變得有多壞！我躲在被窩裡哭，哭個不停，而且好委屈，把睡衣也給弄得爛濕，我在想自己哭得顫抖的臉，我要復仇的！終究我要復仇的！哭完了猛打顫，這還是不夠的，爬起床找了張白紙條，重重的寫下，勿忘A 1 policy，把它夾在檯燈下的鏡框裡，我要為這個讀好書，做大事，讓人不敢再提這種昧良心事，就這樣罷，我要讀書了，經，史，子，集。 拿了方舟的稿費，答應請宜陽、小瀚看電影的，我們去豪華看慾望街車，費雯麗的，這劇本我原是看過的，當時也沒覺得如何，不過現在卻看得我渾身不舒服。費雯麗還是偉大的，能演也敢演，亂世佳人是她最漂亮的時，我沒看過，只看了她老醜以後的愚人船和這部，卻怎麼兩部片子都看得人沉沉的。 小瀚說，今天是三劍客認識一周年紀念，看到他那在陽光中笑得飛揚的臉，正好感動他的細心，卻是黃燈一亮，他們兩人一個箭步已經過了十字路口在對街了，我一人在這一岸急急的踩著腳，小瀚、宜陽兩人也在對面窘窘的笑，有些幽明兩隔的感覺，但是我真喜歡在陽光中看他們。 但是不是Ｏ型人都是這樣呢？閻也是Ｏ型，一回我和她走在馬路上，後頭猛的一聲車喇叭，分明很近了，閻這個大個子卻是快快一跳就躲到路邊了，留我一人立在馬路中悶著頭閉上眼睛不敢動，等司機急煞了車，再勾頭出來罵人。事後我說閻是小學課本裡那個自私的獵人，一看到熊就只顧自己先逃命，閻也不以為忤，只是笑，還笑！那天我們兩人各抱著一本厚厚大大的東華牛津字典，正等著車，雨點就沒頭沒腦的下了，我趕快把字典頂在頭上擋雨，昨天才洗的頭，掉過頭去，閻才剛把字典給嚴嚴密密的藏在懷裡免得雨淋，兩人看了相互的動作不禁相視大笑起來，他們Ｏ型人就是這樣 趕去機場送爺爺，晚了一步，但這樣的結果也好，我沒看到爺爺走，也不難過，而且機場的落日真是好，有涼涼的晚風，還有輕輕的人聲車聲，三劍客並肩走在寬寬的紅磚路上，我們的影子拉得好長好長，宜陽唱起當晚霞滿天，在想，我一定要死守三劍客的友情，如同死守對小靜、橘兒、卡洛的友情。 新年糊里糊塗的過了，每天都一樣，晚上家裡總是高朋滿座，眾人舉杯，我也趁亂喝酒，喝上兩汽水杯的高粱，然後飄飄的飛到後山，星子涼涼的灑人一頭一身，躺在草地上，願風浪就此止息，冰冰的寶藍緞面天空蓋住了我，想到東坡，想到赤壁泛舟，想到宜陽最喜歡的那兩句，桂棹兮蘭槳，擊空明兮溯流光，渺渺兮予懷，望美人兮天一方。 寒假了，可是要上輔導課，和第一次模擬考。我和小靜、橘兒也不管，照過我們的日子，小靜剛從苗栗過年回來，帶了一大袋甘草水醃的生橄欖，青綠青綠的看著就要叫人冒口水，我和卡洛都愛吃，又忍不到下課，就趁著歷史課吃將起來。歷史先生的課是真的古老，我是說他常讓我想到私塾生活，不過他長得不似觀念中的私塾先生，他有一個很好的相貌，真的是像三國裡的人物，身長六呎，聲似宏鐘，面如重棗，還有重重的絡腮鬍，不過已經刮得青青的了。他講課最是多稗官野史，歷史在他口裡真是鮮活極了。不過打從高一時，我就奇怪一個讀歷史那麼多年的人怎麼會那樣功利，他說的做人處事國家政治無不是從功利觀念出發的，我想過，或許他是認為在我們這樣幼稚時應該讓我們早早懂得些人情世故，但是宜陽說得更對，應該讓人先學了好的，再讓他知道還有惡的。此時他正來來回回的在講台上講，龍泉街的牛肉麵。到了高三，也只有歷史一科仍是輕輕慢慢照它自己的腳步走，明天要月考，進度還沒趕完，歷史先生照說他的，圓環的，台北橋下的，成都路的，還撫著微腆的肚子滿意的笑著，我們亦安然。 才一堂課，我和卡洛就把那一大袋橄欖給吃了個精光，牙齒也差不多倒了，軟軟的，碰到舌頭都疼，可是下午我們早已打算好了要去大吃的，因為今天是小靜生日，二月六號，我又拿了稿費。中午輔導課一下課，就殺到上島去，上島是我們在外頭看過不知多少回的地方，這次終於進來了。戰戰兢兢的挑了個靠窗的位子坐定下來，才發覺裡頭的佈置舊舊的，不是老，旁邊桌子的人很吵，而且都是很粗野的人。撥開窗簾，窗外頭是灰灰的天和台北市，我們一起用小銀匙小口小口的吃聖代，都不說話，我知道是難過，因為一回一回我們站在紅磚路上看上島紅白相間叫人覺得溫馨的遮陽棚，和迎風招搖著的椰子樹，總覺得那一扇厚重茶晶色的玻璃門裡是另一個國度，是我們一個陽光安謐的夢。快快的吃完東西，四人就趕將出來，幾乎是落荒而逃的。走吧，走罷，還好外頭還有綠樹和紅磚路，我們一會兒又笑笑鬧鬧起來。年輕，真讓我覺得，我呀，是個少年！ 晚飯是在喜愛迪吃的，吃完要走，才發現樓上有鋼琴聲，於是死黨又班師上去了。樓上黑呼呼的，沒點燈，卻在天花板上裝了好多白的紅的小燈，我們沉靠在厚厚軟軟的沙發裡，頭倚在靠背上，根本就是在看星星！窗邊有幾盆棕櫚樹，在夜風中微微晃動著，窗外是台北市閃爍的霓虹燈，也好。滿室的Autumn Leaves，是我點的曲子，彈鋼琴的人技巧顯然不很高明，但是也好。下星期模擬考，也好。我就一輩子在這星光下做夢好了，也沒跟橘兒、小靜、鄧發誓，太累了，而且未必真。 已經上床了，妹妹還沒忘記擰開凌晨主持的平安夜，最近兩人心都浮浮的，一定得聽音樂睡去。聽到One Day When We Were Young，就睡了。晚安，史特勞斯。 最近好容易累，因為患了B2，過兩天要模擬考了。真是屋漏偏逢連夜雨。這是頭一次模擬考，我打定主意要好好的考，考得好的話會對自己的信心很有幫助的。因為雖然這學期三次月考我在班上的排名約都是十五名左右，可是到底是新功課，一點點的課程，我的記憶力又很好，不能算數的。可是這會兒要一口氣讀三年的書，我真是緊張了，書桌上堆得高高的，都是新新的書，本本裡頭也都空空的沒畫半點重點，因為高一高二對聯考沒什麼概念，過完一學期就扔一學期的課本，這些書是高三開始要複習考時才新買來的，卻是每次複習考都匆匆讀過，重點也沒來得及畫。我極容易無端的緊張，一緊張起來就暴躁得跟獅子一樣，兩手把頭髮給抓得亂蓬蓬的，書扔得一床一桌，人都倒在椅子上發呆，不過還好一下樓吃飯，跟媽媽替毛毛抓狗蚤子，就又什麼都忘了。 與媽媽一起看電視，阿爾卑斯山征服記。山上飄雪弗弗，山腰上的美國登山隊紮營紮了老半天，媽媽一個盹醒，說，怎麼，他們回來了？真是南柯一夢啊，我很喜歡南柯一夢這個詞，很可怕很美，就像一度喜歡覺得自己是江郎才盡了，每一蹺課在路上晃蕩時，就覺得自己好似那江淹，不過好歹也是有才過所以可怕。 晚上到台映看了兩片子，一是軍法大審判，另一部是孤星淚。軍不如何，很可惜蘇珊娜玉沒能發揮，我記得剛看過她和喬治史谷特的忘年之愛（簡愛）時好喜歡她，她長得真的不美，下唇厚厚翹翹的，給人很知性又幼稚的感覺，像茱麗克麗斯汀。孤星淚是從小就讀得爛熟的故事，現在看了也覺得滿好，不過，想，到底是外國人的感情，不知為什麼。 在想，天氣暖時，我是會真讀書的，這兩天除了趕電影和覺得累外，還算讀得不錯，尤其複習正中英文時倒看起了課外的The Count of Monte Christo的劇本來了，唸唸，學美國腔，最明顯的就是不發母音Ｒ的音，很好玩的，覺得自己也變成了個拿根手杖的英國人，內向又孤立。 晚上楊逵先生來，他這次北上是為人家盜印他的書來打官司的。鵝媽媽出嫁我才剛讀過，看到他好高興，同時也想起窮困一生的鍾理和，想到一般批評家扔給他們的帽子，鄉土文學。說真的，到現在我還不太懂這詞的定義，但按一般批評家劃分給我們的感覺，毋寧就是方言文學，或農村文學，若真是這般的話，豈不是對這些勤勤懇懇的老前輩作家是一種大不敬嗎？因為他們的作品何止於這些呢？我最討厭的批評家就是這些懶惰不負責的，才看看東西就隨便給人扔上一頂帽子，要不就是自己先握了一把尺，用這把尺不變應萬變的來量作品，實在量不進去的就是不對不好。舉個例，不少人愛拿佛洛伊德這把尺，這量量那量量，白居易的梨花一枝春帶雨就是一個性的表現，性不是好好，但在作者的文章有一貫的高超氣勢時，這樣憑空挖一句來極盡牽強之能事，就太不好了，還有像平劇裡的汾河灣，薛仁貴在外戎馬多年，一次回家途中見一老虎銜著一人，仁貴大驚，拉了弓就射，可是虎沒射著卻射到了人，虎仍銜人逃入山中了，仁貴返家，因其多年未歸，妻不識，仁貴便佯裝其僚友來對其妻百般調戲欲試其貞潔，最初對其妻無疑了，夫妻相認進得屋後，仁貴發現床下有一雙男人的鞋，乃持鞋質其妻，妻笑道，我的夫呀，你離家多年可知你的兒如今有多大了？仁貴釋疑，後來又知方才射被虎銜之人乃是其子云云，我很喜歡這齣戲，有人世的明亮，尤其仁貴妻一直不惱仁貴的百般無禮，自始至終都端然，讓人想到太白的春歌，秦地羅敷女，采桑綠水邊；素手青條上，紅妝白日鮮，蠶飢妾欲去，五馬莫留連。看了但覺春光爛漫，人世洋溢著喜悅。可是用了佛洛伊德這把尺的一上來就戀母情結啊什麼的弄得一團烏煙瘴氣。像露滴牡丹開這句詞，我們看了全文就都知道是在說性，可是那麼美，好吧，再用佛洛伊德量吧，量盡了，說盡了，是性！But so what?作品是有機體呀，這樣把它當機器來拆拆弄弄的，僅能壞了文章，即使批評家對它是譽多於毀，而且批評家本身的文章也不是創作了，對這些壞批評家，送他們一首詩最恰當，王楊盧駱當時體，輕薄為文笑未休，爾曹名與身俱滅，不廢江河萬古流。 模擬考，考得昏天黑地，要命，發現這一向差用功還是太多了，像今天考的，有三分之一都是還沒來得及碰的，橘兒考得好像也很糟，兩人都喪氣得很，想去吃吃逛逛，可是卻下起了西北雨，回了也沒感覺，就無聊的在床上看宦官秘史。 上午遊手好閒的盪了半天，因為下午要註冊了，定不下心，日子怎麼過得這麼快呢！頭髮剪了五次才通過，也不煩，這可是高中最後一次的註冊，有紀念性的。 石頭來信，也沒說什麼，寄了張臺大校園的照片，杜鵑花正開得繽繽紛紛的，我把它放在勿忘A 1 policy紙條的旁邊，這學期應該能用功的，因為有這些個東西在鼓勵我，又和死黨多人發過誓，訂下不少國際雙邊條約，該拚得起來的。 石頭是我在小高一第一次郊遊時認識的，大我一屆，沉沉靜靜穩穩的，或許也不，因為我們面對面一共就講過三句話，發展得就像是老式的高中生筆友，他寫寫信給我，我也回，偶爾比著矜持，拖些時日才回。有時想起會悚然心驚，覺得自己做樁莫名其妙的事，過過日子，就寫些話，投到一個不知名的地方。可是又想，在這段年少的日子裡，最瞭解我的不是父母，不是小靜、橘兒，不是宜陽、小瀚，也不是我，是石頭，常常寫著信，約莫我是在說夢話，或是跟天父聊天，好可怕，這世界的某一個角落裡竟有個不知名的人瞭解你，只有他，多荒唐！但我還是喜歡石頭，雖然猜了三年也沒猜對他的血型。有次和死黨有彆扭，我傷心的寫信問石頭朋友之道，他回信說，他問了他的一個好朋友，那朋友答，若一個女孩問你朋友之道，那一定是個傻女孩。不過石頭附了句，一笑！我果然展顏笑了笑，和死黨沒頭沒腦的又好了，可是的確我原是個傻女孩呀，不是嗎？ 晚上跟爸爸聊天，主要是聊妹妹。妹妹最近很痛苦，高中上了台北工專後，和以前國中的男孩分手了，現在和班上的另一個男孩很好，但男孩家裡是不大願意男孩這麼早就費心在這些事上，也不是條絕人的路啊，但妹妹就是想不開，天天沉醉在自造的悲劇英雄氣氛裡，覺得自己馬上要為一樁偉大的事犧牲，決定一晚上，哭一晚上，決定一晚上，再哭一晚上，每天就這樣昏昏癡癡的，妹妹的情感著實太優裕了，她太喜歡陷在一種自己造的氣氛裡，往往事情只有一分，她總會弄得看起來有十分似的，我很不喜歡這樣的，拿這些感情去讀書、去寫文章、去迷古人都好呀！爸爸答應了找個時間好好的跟妹妹談談，順帶問我一句，現在不要事事那麼理智有主張，留個後路看你將來碰到這些個事時如何？我說，不會的，將來我定要嫁給個外國人，或工商界人士，嫁給外國人是因為我認識的每一個中國男孩都太好了，可要如何取捨？嫁給工商界人士則是想到我心不會怎麼愛他的，既然一開始就沒什麼愛情，將來也不會有厭倦，不會離婚，為婚姻而婚姻也成。爸爸笑了，我也笑了，約是有人在說些什麼荒唐的話罷。還是睡覺是正經事，就去睡了。 so cold! 又開始蹺課了，才開學呀，不過一點也沒覺得不好意思，每天活得都安然，理直氣壯。今天起晚了，在中央黨部下車時，已經九點快半了，第二堂課正在上著了罷。最近總統府附近紅磚路邊的花壇都換了花，這次是菊花，我頂不愛的，總會想到殯儀館和可怕的線香味。盪到黨部圖書資料出版部，看看，很可怕，到處都是高深學問的書，只有櫃台放了一些大張的畫像， 國父慈祥的看著我，眉頭微蹙，在責備我蹺課，蹺了十七年沒做點事， 國父的眼睛最是好看，深深的，在說好多話。我向櫃台小姐說要買一張，小姐一面替我捲起來包裝，一面笑笑的問我：你們班上要掛的啊？臉一燙，我相信這會兒自己的臉蛋必是紅紅的，想到寇監督說過的一個七十來歲的老太太，每聽到耶穌這兩個字，總會臉紅心跳，像年輕時一聽到人家說她丈夫的名字一樣，此刻我也是這樣，只紅著臉不說話，把它帶回家，釘在我書桌前的牆壁上，從此我要與國父一塊生活，共同努力我們的革命事業。要讀書了，再不用功， 國父要對我皺眉頭了。 今天公佈了模擬考成續，班上是全校第二名，輸給平班，但丁組榜首在我們班上，是江，這原就是預料中的事。我敬畏用功和功課好的同學，但是只有對江，還另有一種親的感覺，雖然我們同學兩年幾乎沒說過一句話，江長得很好看，人永遠靜靜笑笑的，總聽人說她很聰明，而我也是相信這點的，因為任考試火燒眉睫了，她還是一人拿著書坐在一個角落裡瀏覽，翻兩頁，再看看窗外，臉上永遠漾著笑，真是怡然自樂，我好喜歡的。 最讓人高興的是鄧在乙組裡是全校第32名，貓咪84、我是53，小靜、橘兒都沒考好。53，大約是不錯的，因為有同學對我說恭喜，我也沒什麼概念，糊里糊塗的考，糊里糊塗的看成績，可是看了貓咪和橘兒、小靜，我總是會畏怯羞慚，對貓咪是覺得我沖犯了她什麼，因為她一直高高直直的領著我前面走，我是要仰望她的，而且頂多走到她的左後方，可是這會兒是僭越！對於橘兒、小靜，我以前就想過了的，因為自己的讀書方法一向是時間用得極少，但是專心，我常以為高三的生活時間分配是這樣，十分之九的時間主要在培養好心境好情緒，十分之一的時間再去讀書，可是橘兒、小靜跟我又不太一樣，所以我不當成天拉著她們一淘吃吃盪盪的，可是每每又壓不住自己，她們是我最好的朋友啊！ 只有對卡洛才生得出高興來，卡洛在丁組裡的排名是八十八，我們兩個的分數卻差不多，或許我們真就是望道有與謀的朋友，到現在有事沒事時我們還常說，卡洛劍橋，小蝦密蘇里，雖然我已是不打算讀新聞了。一個下午，我和卡洛在聊，她聊劍橋，依然是神采飛揚，我也依然不忘記砍她一刀，別忘了搧爐子！搧爐子是我們兩人間的一個小典故，媽媽在新竹女中讀書時有個最要好的同學也是要讀政治，去英國，可是畢業幾年後，媽媽去看她，她正背著孩子蹲在簷下搧煤球爐。其實那也是好，不過我們這會兒是絕對不想婚姻的事，在這個如此年輕的午後。這幾天學校附近的樹都在競相發芽了，卡洛和我老看氣象局旁的那棵綠綠白白的樹，雖然沒什麼陽光，但真好。不知道將來還會不會有可以和我一起看樹走路的朋友。卡洛總說，嘿，將來你們文學院，我也說，你到徐州街以後，好不囂張，但是也好好。 一大早起了好大的霧，白濛濛的卻又乾淨，像夏天早晨一樣。車子開得慢，我又忙著在東門就下車，一路貪看霧，又遲到了。今天教官興致也高，罰遲到的人跑，高一跑操場三圈，高二兩圈，高三一圈。跑著跑著竟無來由笑起來，大約是第一次發現高三學生也有些許特權罷，不過我只想快快找個漂亮的女孩兒，像小靜，就對她念道： 我從海上來，帶回航海的二十二顆星 你問我海上的事兒，我仰天笑了 如霧起時 敲叮叮的耳環在濃密的髮叢找航路 用最細最細的噓息，吹開睫毛引燈塔的光 赤道是一痕潤紅的線，你笑時不見 子午線是一串暗藍的珍珠 當你思念時即為時間的分隔而滴落 我從海上來，你有海上的珍奇太多了 迎人的編貝，嗔人的晚雲 和使我不敢輕易近航的珊瑚的礁區 放學卡洛邀我走長沙街，看杜鵑花去，已經聽她說過好多回了，那條路上的杜鵑花最近開得很盛，發覺卡洛雖然是個很典型的Ｏ型人，但她卻意外的有情趣，很懂得如何享受生活的人，尤其兩人站在紅磚道上仰頭看楓葉和樹上的小鳥窩窩時，我總想發些誓之類的。奇怪跟橘兒、小靜一起晃蕩的時候最長最多，但是記憶最深的卻是那個看完A summer place和卡洛走長長涼涼綠綠的紅磚路的夏日雷雨午後，卡洛常會讓我遙想一些事，一些飄飄渺渺在我心底極深地方的事。 我們把它解放出來好不好？卡洛指著一朵卡在鐵絲網格子裡的粉色杜鵑花，我說好，輕輕的把托住，往外拉拉，沒想到花兒整個掉在我手心裡了，哎呀，過分自由了，我真是個粗人！想到橘兒、小靜最近的清掃工作總很詩意，她們負責的是至善樓後頭的小庭院，最近花開得都盛，也謝得兇，每天中飯後，只見橘兒、小靜閒閒的下得樓去，我們葬花去了。我卻在教室裡掃地，掃得灰塵漫漫的刺迷了眼，合該我生來也就是該做這類工作的。 三月了，天有了些暖意。