Chapter 23 The Way of Couples

Reports have reported that the divorce rate in Taiwan has increased, among which young couples account for the majority of divorcees.This shows that young men and women are suspected of abusing their freedom of marriage. Young people's emotions are immature, they don't have enough experience in life, and they have too many fantasies. Without the constraints of family and ethics, they get married and divorced. Every time they act impulsively, it will cause adverse consequences, making relatives and friends feel sorry. Prosperity in society, equal employment opportunities for men and women, most young men and women can live independently, which virtually reduces their reliance on family. Turning against each other, they will get angry and divorce again, and suddenly become strangers. It is really the result of excessive self-indulgence of modern young men and women.If you already have children, but still recklessly divorce, it will cause misfortune for the next generation, and it is also an irresponsible behavior for the next generation.

Modern young men and women always think that it is fashionable to abandon the old concept of ethics when it comes to the way of getting along with each other.Who doesn't know that the concept of Chinese Confucianism does not matter whether it is new or old, and has its own truth and permanent value.For example, since ancient times, China has advocated that husbands and wives should respect each other as guests. How is this different from the mutual respect that modern and Western couples emphasize? Even if modern women are unwilling to be bound by the so-called three obediences and four virtues, if both men and women fail to face up to the principle of respecting each other as guests, they will still become resentful couples.As for the mutual tolerance, we can grow old together. Isn't it still necessary to respect each other as a guest?

Just imagine, two men and women who grew up in different places, once they get married and live together, no matter how long or short they have been in love, there will always be places where they can't fully cooperate. If they tolerate each other, it will be difficult to realize the promise of a white head. Han Feizi talked about the relationship between family and husband and wife, and there are a few words that are very thorough.He said: Husband and wife do not have the kindness of flesh and blood. If you love, you will be close, and if you don't love, you will be distant.That is to say, husband and wife are originally two people living in different places, without the kindness of flesh and blood, but after they become husband and wife, they rely on love to maintain the marriage relationship, so that they can expect to grow old together. Love, that is to say, will be alienated (divorced) again, and it will never be as strong as a relationship of flesh and blood.This is the same as the Western proverb that marriage is the beginning of love.Can you say that the ancient Chinese people's concept of marriage and the way of getting along with each other are outdated?

Modern young men and women want to pursue a happy married life, so why should it be fashionable to imitate Western customs, as long as they can find it from the inherent Chinese culture. (Number 70, 11, 26)