Chapter 25 friendship and love

Love is like sea water that is prone to waves; Friendship is like a trickling brook. There is no happiness in life without friendship. Love without friendship lacks sincerity. However, friendship and love; love and sentiment are so delicate and difficult to deal with, which often makes the parties concerned do not know what to do, and do not know where to stop, thus causing many tragedies in the hands of impulsive young men and women . Friendship can exist in everything, but love does not necessarily exist in friendship; but in love, there must be the growth of friendship, so that love can last forever.Young people must face up to the divide between friendship and love with a serious attitude and sincerity, so as not to get lost in the confusion.

In a normal male-female friendship, there is no need to force them to produce love; but if love arises because of this, it may not necessarily lead to marriage. Grasp these measures, follow the sentiment, follow the nature, the world is fixed, why worry? Human emotions are inherently unpredictable, and a happy marriage cannot be obtained by force. Without friendship, there will be no reliable marriage.On the other hand, a sound marriage relationship must be based on a correct friendship attitude between the sexes, because sincere friendship is actually more durable than a marriage relationship. After the relationship disappears, both parties should still be able to maintain their normal friendship.

The meaning of the word friendship means giving and receiving from both parties, while the meaning of the word love is that giving is more important than receiving. Conditional, otherwise that kind of love is not sincere, not holy. Some people say that love is absolutely selfish and completely possessive.This sentence is absolutely incorrect, and it is very dangerous to mislead young people's thinking. Therefore, once the purpose of possession cannot be achieved, various undue tragedies will easily occur, such as love killing, disfigurement, and death for love. Crime, as far as it goes, is enough to make the emotional life of young people lose self-discipline.

Possession of love can only be applied to playthings and animals, but must not be used to violate people, because people have human dignity and independent personality, even if someone is loved by someone, the loved person is also One's own natural right, one can refuse to accept it, even accepting it passively and still be free to change one's situation, one does not have to and is not obliged to perform reciprocation to the person who loves him or her, even if there is a reciprocation, it is only by conscience Driven by the responsibility, rather than the account of responsibility.

We can love someone unswervingly for life, but we must never intentionally possess him (her) for life. If the other party is willing to be possessed by you for life, it should be the combination of love, or the result of your sincere love power. , but still cannot be regarded as an inevitable return. There are many types of love, such as the love of parents, love of children, love of friends, love of classmates, love of teachers and students, love of subordinates, love of talents and learning, and even love of men and women and love of husband and wife. Whoever can fully obtain the joy of these love boundaries will not fall into unreasonable troubles; but how to correctly recognize these boundaries of love and grasp them well depends on the cultivation and cultivation of one's emotions. Moral upbringing.

No matter what kind of love it is, it is like the flower of youth, which needs to be irrigated slowly and waited patiently, instead of rushing for what can be realized. There is no one in the world who is eager to uproot a flower and tree and can make it bloom immediately. What about beautiful flowers?It was really his own fault for ruining it like that. Strictly speaking, love is the pioneer of human wisdom. Until today, there is no love doctor in the world who can find out the formula or establish the law for the word love.How not to create or increase the pain of others with personal selfishness is the necessary cultivation for emotional life.

In a society with a bad atmosphere, it is not easy to maintain normal friendship between men and women.The lack of normal social activities has resulted in various unsightly ways of making friends, and most young men and women lack serious sentiments, often confuse friendship with love, and always think that once they make a friend of the opposite sex, they have had a date. I mistakenly think that I am in love, but I don't know that there is still a long distance between friendship and love, and it is still time to decide!Even if you quickly enter the stage of love, if unfortunately you still can't escape the test stage that has been surpassed, and love suffers setbacks, then why can't you go back and stick to the boundaries of friendship?Young friends, please be sure to correct your consciousness. If you fail to fall in love, it does not prevent the two parties from still being friends.Otherwise, your original love was not pure and innocent.

In many love disputes between men and women, one party often hears that the other party has cheated him or her. When the opposite sex communicates, they often cannot properly control their emotions, and they are enthusiastic all of a sudden. Once one party cools down or finds the other party's shortcomings and wants to alienate, the cooled party thinks that he has been cheated, not passive and depressed. , That is to retaliate in a strong way, so besides increasing troubles, what is the use of it?Human feelings are like a lily in full bloom. If unfortunately it is stained, it will be difficult to restore its original beauty.

Furthermore, another situation of the so-called being cheated in love is just because of blindly pleasing the other party, and once you can't get a corresponding response, you also think that you have been cheated.In fact, you must first understand what kind of love the other party wants, and measure it before you can put yourself in an appropriate position. Russian writer Kuprin once said: True love is only the property of a lucky few!It can be seen that love is not easy to obtain. If you can regard this kind of disappointment as inevitable and this kind of gain as accident, you will be able to smile calmly.He also said: How many mysteries are hidden in the word love.How much joy is hidden in the pain of love!

This is a state of self-cultivation. If you have the grace to appreciate and enjoy the joy in the pain of failed love, you will be the happiest occupant of your love life forever in the world, or you can be said to be a millionaire in your love life.It is also in line with the eternal truth that we derive happiness from forgiveness. Enjoying love is the same as enjoying flowers and trees, whether it is bitter or sweet; and whether it is smooth or thorny, you should not chew or plunder unrestrainedly, but only carefully experience and cultivate it, and let it grow freely , There must be endless flowers, if you want to take it all at once, the flowers you pluck by force will not last long, and it will hurt its entire vitality and damage its roots.

Beautiful flowers are admirable, without half a word; beautiful love is the combination of the induction of the heart and the spirit.The endless ravings may not be able to touch the hub of love, because it is a delicate thing in the first place! Love is like flowing water, the shallow water swallows low, while the deep river flows silently and silently! Please remember that simplicity and suppleness are the glue that combines love; while wildness and coercion are the enemies that destroy love.Especially in free love, the strengths you rely on are self-esteem, self-love, honesty, purity, and health. In short, the friendship between men and women is not equal to love, and the emergence of love is based on pure friendship.Without a serious friendship attitude, there will be no serious foundation of love. Never use self-awareness to evaluate the invisible soul of the other party. It is extremely dangerous. If it is robbed, it is even more stupid! If it is between friendship and love, there is no need to be embarrassed, because you should still stick to the boundary of friendship and wait for its love to bloom. (Written in September 1950)