Chapter 26 let go of words

When communicating, assuming that the other party does not understand at all is not disrespectful in attitude, but considerate in mood.It is to put yourself in the same position as the other party to look at the doubts, so that you can learn from each other in the process of answering. Japanese writer Nagasaki Kazichi once selected a famous saying in his works: Language has color, language has weight, and language also has temperature, because it is the product of the human heart. It is not easy to say something clearly.In particular, expressing one's own professional knowledge in a very simple way requires even more skill!The difficulty lies not in whether the content to be expressed is difficult, but whether the person who is speaking is willing to let go of his attitude and treat those who come to learn, teach or receive information equally.

Only by putting yourself in the same position as the other party and putting yourself in the other party's shoes can it be possible to convey your message in an all-round way. The most obvious example is teaching and learning.When I was in junior high school, my homework was very poor, and I failed in mathematics and science at all. When I needed to cram before the exam, I had to ask my classmates for advice. Although we are classmates who usually have a good relationship, we always quarrel within three minutes of studying. In the end, we not only failed to clarify what we didn't understand, but hurt the feelings of classmates.For a while, I often felt inferior because of this, and my relationship with others became poor.

After I was admitted to university, in order to supplement my family and earn my own pocket money, I took on several tutoring jobs.In the experience of teaching and learning, I only know the friction between my classmates and the problem. No matter how simple the problem is, the teacher must not assume that the other party should understand, but treat the other party as if they don’t understand at all. , And think that he doesn't understand at all, it's a matter of course, it's a matter of course, it's the same as myself before learning! Only by letting go of one's body mentally can one understand the other person's learning obstacles with empathy and try to help him solve them one by one.

When communicating, assuming that the other party does not understand at all is not disrespectful in attitude, but considerate in mood.It is to put yourself in the same position as the other party to look at the doubts, so that you can learn from each other in the process of answering. Expressing professional ideas in a simple way is a major challenge in communication When I first took over as the host of a strip radio program, Mr. Wang Weizhong, a creative guru in the media industry, gave me very practical guidance. He said: No matter what topic you talk about, you should assume that there is someone who doesn’t understand anything sitting next to you in the studio, and you have to talk until he understands. This is the skill of a talk radio host!

It is a great wisdom in life to treat the other person as a person who does not understand at all.Do not misunderstand!It does not mean to underestimate or discriminate against the other party, as it literally means, but to respect and be considerate of the other party. Thinking back to fresh out of college, I was writing about professional subjects in marketing in my spare time, and the same is true.How to avoid professional terms and express profound concepts with the simplest words is always the biggest challenge for the author. Among colleagues, many scholars and experts cannot do this, because they are worried that if they are too superficial, they will lose their professional image.In fact, the opposite may be true!

I also exemplify this truth on the cable cooking shows my mother loves to watch. The host of the cooking show that my mother admires the most has this quality. She not only explained each step in detail, but also reminded various possibilities.The main points are said, but there is no nonsense at all, and there is no long-winded, as if you are guiding a novice who has never been in the kitchen.Teach viewers to impress her experience, caring and caring in no time! Assuming that the other person should know, probably knows, is a major barrier to communication One of the biggest problems in communication is: assuming that the other party should know, thinking that the other party may understand, so omitting the details that you should explain, and expecting him to understand or learn quickly.On the surface, it seems to be a kind of flattery or respect for the other party; in fact, it is caused by a proud mentality, and it is too simple for me to reveal my sense of superiority to some extent!Huh?You are stupid!is that really so difficult?This kind of subjective determination is not only a manifestation of selfishness, but also a loss to oneself, and will lose the opportunity to learn from a different perspective and grow together with the other party.

I like to think of myself as an expert, and naturally see others as idiots. If you don't put yourself down, you can't put yourself in the position of the other party, and the effectiveness of communication or teaching will be greatly reduced. Parents raise their children, brothers and sisters guide their younger siblings, supervisors train subordinates, teachers teach students, and communication between the sexes all have similar experiences.When you speak more and more urgently and get angry, you will inevitably burn your chest with anger, and even want to yell impulsively: You are a pig!Stupid like this! (When I was young, I was often scolded like this by others!) In fact, if you change your position and pretend that the other person doesn’t understand at all, think about how you didn’t understand the same thing before you learned it, and you won’t be so easily irritable!

With peace of mind, the effect of communication is of course much better.