Chapter 16 sixteen

The first decision to step out of the country is extremely important to Nansen. A vast and new world that he has never experienced is waiting for him. In that world, he does not know what he will encounter.Among the two companions, one is a boy from National Taiwan University, and the other is also a female student from National Taiwan University. Among the three, Nansen claims to be the worst in terms of English proficiency. I should have brought my private English secretary, Lao Gao.He said: He is my living dictionary, without him, I would have no way. What's the matter, the male student at National Taiwan University said: We are not sure about language, and we left too hastily, and we didn't even have mental preparations, so we had to come here, one or three cobblers, better than Zhuge Liang.

This is to say that when the book is used, there will be less hatred.The girl said: I usually don't feel it, but when I participate in an international youth gathering, I can't help but feel panic. This is always because my level is not enough to build self-confidence. If we become strong, the national language will also become a world language. Nansen said with emotion: Only then can we break free from the nightmare of the English-speaking world. He arrived in Japan full of excitement and an ambition to break into a new world.In the Summer Festival, he is the representative of Free China. Behind him are countless young people living in the same environment, which shows his substantial representative status and spiritual responsibility.

Two and a half months later, he quietly returned to the East China Sea, and his expression and attitude seemed to be resigned.To whom should I tell my feelings about living in a foreign country for two and a half months?He had frequent contacts with representatives from other countries and found that they were ignorant of the treasure island where he grew up, even young people from the United States were no exception.Due to his limited language ability, he was unable to give them an in-depth explanation of the actual living conditions of our nation under the ravages and violence of the red, which made him very troubled and lonely.A young friend from Switzerland once delivered a religious speech at a conference. He used the generally vague Christian concept of peace and added it to the disputes in the real world, and proposed South and North Korea, North and South Vietnam, East and West Germany, and China. The mainland and Taiwan claim that these antagonisms are the sad result of people's misunderstanding and hatred.His eloquent and self-righteous rhetoric fully shows that he has no political knowledge and no understanding of the evil nature of communism.

For this matter, Nansen and two students from National Taiwan University were very indignant, and had to study it, and published an analytical speech, citing the struggle for a free China, based on the survival of the nation as a whole, just like the free people in Europe against Nazi Germany The same, with the ideal of striving for a bright and happy life for the whole people.Although God is merciful, He cannot tolerate evil, and the defense of resisting violence and survival is in essence different from resorting to military action. The speech was written by Nansen, and the three of them jointly researched and drafted it, and handed it over to the female student of National Taiwan University for presentation.

Is there any questionable place in the grammar?Another male classmate said this with concern. Never mind!Nansen said: We can only focus on the content of the speech, whether it hits the mark or hits it. In any case, we cannot be misunderstood, can we? The speech was delivered at another meeting. At that time, many foreign friends were quite moved, and they came to chat after the meeting and asked many questions; Camp development, etc.Nansen seized the opportunity and gave them a big indoctrination with his sloppy English, which washed away part of the depression that had accumulated in his heart when he first left.

In his free time, he visited and visited around Tokyo, went to Kyoto to find pen pals who used to correspond with him in the past, and climbed Mount Fuji once with a few new friends. It is undeniable that Japan, which has revived and prospered from the desolation after the war, has shown industrious and vigorous vigor in terms of education, construction and life awareness, but it is not as imaginative as some oriental believers. as perfect as it was supposed to be.Take the Mt. Fuji area as an example. The different appearances of Mt. Fuji seen in the calendar and other pictures in different seasons are enough to make people intoxicated; The pond, the white-headed reeds and the drunken maple red, through the bright and transparent colors, seem like a fairyland; the snow-covered peaks, not stained with dust, give people a sense of cleanliness and exaltation, but he actually climbed At that time, I found that the environmental sanitation there was very poor, far less clean than Yangmingshan. The reality is often so ruthless to break people's illusion of beauty and expand people's real vision.

In the same way, young people from Europe and the United States always like to use some sporadic imaginings they formed from legends to piece together the reality of the East. Men with long braids, long gowns, opium-smoking, and concubines marry their concubines. Women who go out of the house are used to slapping the gavel, masters who take off their pants and beat the board, poor households in ragged clothes, illiterates, and some reforms that seem to be Taiping Heavenly Kingdom-style, polygamous titles.Those smoke clouds that have passed away still remain in the depths of their consciousness. This kind of old consciousness cannot be completely shaken by a single speech.

He has been to too many bookstores, but he has not seen a single literary work describing the life and spiritual trends of contemporary Chinese people; he thought that if there are a few literary books with substantial content, people can have a deeper understanding of the current situation of free China. If they understand, their mental load can be lightened, and they won't encounter so many ironic misunderstandings.This is an old problem. When he was in middle school, he talked with Meizhen many times. It is true that our writers lack such works, and the lack of translation is also a fact, but this is not something he can solve.

In short, the trip abroad changed him a lot.Before that, school education locked him in an ivory tower, well-behaved, and lived easily. He painted his dreams with spring colored pens, and Taiye's dream had wings and flew in the clouds on the top of Dadu Mountain. Now that he has entered his junior year, his feet are still in the muddy reality, and there is still a faint chill. He has begun to demand himself, and he can't just pursue book knowledge as his goal; in the past two years, the surrounding soft living environment He has loosened his bones, he failed to make good use of the reading rights of college students, and he did not thoroughly explore, research or discuss anything. Before the storm of the times, he was still a young bird, not a goshawk.

Laoha, if you let foreign substances in, the taste will change.Old Su said. Where did it change? You're so serious as a lonely cock, I bet you haven't seen Toyo's striptease.If it was me, or Lao Gao, hey, he must soak in it and feast his eyes. You're about the same, don't insult our philosopher.Nansen said with a smile: Lao Gao has always paid attention to metaphysics. Hey, you got it wrong, there is no pure metaphysical in the world.Diet men and women, human relations, Lao Gao is the kind of person who goes up or down, like a bucket for fetching water, it is always empty on the top, and it has to go down to fill with the water of life.Try counting contemporary figures, go to Japan without appreciating Tuotuo, how rare?Old Su was still in the tone of white and white, sour and spicy, and he said with a big heart: If you are not a saint, you are a fool.

Maybe I'm a fool. This time, he reserved a lot for Lao Su, and he no longer liked to complain or criticize lightly.To him, kicking in the library, waiting for letters at the post office, and sitting on the stone lamp stand beside Sunset Avenue admiring the girls coming and going are all unimportant to him.The only thing that makes him feel hesitant is the relationship between him and Meiqian. His unconfessed love permeates in the friendship.He knew that this kind of contradictory emotion was difficult to overcome. He was not as open-minded as Lao Su, and he might need a long period of self-discipline, but these were all his own affairs, and there was no need to confess to Lao Su. In autumn, there are a series of sunny days in Dadu Mountain. He learns to calm down, welcome the rising sun every day, and watch the setting sun disappear into the haze of dusk.The life of the class is flat. He spends all the time he can use on his homework, intensively reading English and Japanese, and has a very high interest in researching Chinese culture. He listens to the courses taught by good professors everywhere. In addition, he improved the organization of the work camp and established K. P, this is what he learned from the summer meeting, that is to say, when the work camp goes out to serve, all the meals, tea, cooking and other affairs for a day will be handled by K. P's female classmate assumes that in this way, the spirit of pure service can be exerted and all hospitality from others can be exempted. The work camp has developed from the initial stage to the present. Although Professor Hender has left, it has established a solid foundation in the clubs of Tunghai University.After the organization was improved, Nansen began to train the newcomers to succeed him, like the second-year Wan Shangmin and Xiaomei, who have become excellent new blood in the work camp.He decided to retreat to the position of patronage and let them show their youthful courage and wisdom. His spirit and practice of not taking credit are highly appreciated. Be good, Brother Ha, your humble demeanor is really not easy.Lao Su said: Someday it will be manifested in politics, and that will be really enjoyable. Nothing, Nansen said: the new is always better than the old. Is it really a rapid retreat?Or play de Gaulle? (De Gaulle, which means political skills.) Want to be an honorary work camp consultant with a retreat? Don't forget, we will hand over the batons next year, do you think Dadu Mountain will embrace us forever?What about those former students who planted acacia trees in Dream Valley?Who ever carved their own names on tree trunks? Don't sell sour, lest people think you didn't grow up drinking vinegar. It's true, old Su, I don't even feel happy and funny now.Nansen said seriously. Well, let's go our own way, my old Su is happy to the end.Old Su scratched his scalp and said. That is to say, from the first to the third grade, everyone's temperament and spirit will change somewhat.The dormitory is often shrouded in a faint atmosphere of tranquility; He has always been a taciturn person, and he becomes a tumbler after studying, sometimes staying up all night through the crowing of the rooster at the fifth watch and the lights at the third watch.Old Su warned him: Dude, now that Yan Ruyu has moved, you can’t find her in the book anymore. If you are poor, you will become a nerd. If you have a good wife, you will let others run away first. You don’t need to worry about Lao He’s affairs, Nansen said: A chicken that lays eggs never crows. Okay, why don't you ask everyone not to call, Lao Su said: "The three of us, let's see who is the most fertile. When I say laying eggs, I mean getting married and having sons." Of course you are the first, He said: In terms of speed, who can compare to your locomotive? Occasionally, there are such happy jokes, but none of them are sincere. I just want to let go of the inexplicable depression in my heart through a burst of haha.But it was in vain, that feeling of loss is a thick mist, after laughing, it still turns into damp and sticks in people's heart. Another outing was held in the courtyard. Everyone took a picnic to climb the nearby old castle. Several of their third and fourth graders participated. Dawa, Meiqian, Xiaocui, Xiaomei, Lao Su and Nansen walked in the Together, the little girl looked at them sensitively and said: After all, you are senior students, why are you all so quiet?Look, those freshmen run so fast! Stepping on the mossy stone steps, those newborn birds looked so excited and joyous; the boys supported the girls, and ran upward step by step as if flying. The heroic knights of the Middle Ages, with their chests straight and hips akimbo, pose majesticly, facing the high wind on the old mottled dome like a bell, as if they have climbed the sky. The waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves ahead, Nansen said: Now it is the world of these wild monkeys. Just out of middle school circus troupe with red poker marks on his ass!Old Su said: These little Don Quixotes are really cute. The freshmen gathered on the top of the castle, howling wildly, the blue sky seemed so high and so close, they waved to the surrounding trees and clouds, and sang songs happily, repelling the tiredness of climbing the mountain for more than two hours. Forgot all about it. Nansen, Lao Su, Meiqian and Xiaocui stood at a corner of the castle, the bright sun kissed their bodies all over their bodies, the wind carried the lingering heat, blowing people's faces, and the nature presented itself in front of their eyes. It's all beautiful.Nansen stared at the distance covered by the acacia forest, dazed, his ears were filled with the laughter of the freshmen, and he was always in a bad mood.What style of scenery does this castle standing in the middle of nature belong to?The relics of the Japanese occupation period, the flavor of early Japanese architecture, and how many bloody and brutal historical spots are left on the mossy cold stone, make people silent and introspective, and even miss the prosperous Tang Dynasty that made Fusang bow its head.And today is another century, how much young wisdom is needed to lift up the nation, revive the national prestige, and open up a kingly modern new Han and Tang Dynasties? Brother Ha, the big baby calls him below: You are welcome to tell jokes. Why do you keep telling me? They chose you as the most popular senior, if you don't talk about it, who will talk about it? The best popularity is miserable enough, even the freedom not to laugh is deprived! He jumped down a few stone steps, and a large group of freshmen formed a circle, some standing, some sitting, all smiling and applauding at him. I was in a bad mood today, and he cut to the chase and said: I was full of jokes, and they all slipped out the back door!During the summer vacation, I participated in the international youth summer camp and went to Japan. I thought, I would like to report some impressions to you here. He then narrated many of his inner emotions. His tone was not as impassioned as before, but contained a deep melancholy.He mentioned that young friends in Europe and the United States do not know enough about Asia, and that in the past 20 years, we have lacked solid and powerful literary works in our literary world, let alone large-scale translation plans and actual implementation agencies. Finally he said: If in these two years, we only need to present a good work that describes how we face violence and gather lessons, and pass it on to the world through translation, it will not make young people in distant countries feel hazy about us. ?When is it wrong to blindly try to translate ancient goods?Letting others understand the present is the most important thing. When he said this, the air pressure immediately became heavy, and correspondingly, the joyous atmosphere immediately decreased. Brother Ha, don't worry about it, and spoil the scenery here, okay?Xiao Cui, who is used to being happy, pursed her red lips and said: In your opinion, we college students should be burdened with this, burdened with that, and live a tasteless life? That's not what Nansen said: We could have done something more meaningful than climbing castles and singing and dancing, but alas! Shouldn't life be adjusted?Xiaocui said: If you really want to be a patriot who is concerned about the times and the world, I suggest you go to the Sun Moon Lake. We collectively prove that you are not a martyr for love, but Qu Yuan today. At any rate, you can also add glory to the famous lake that people have suffered. Xiaocui's half-annoyed and half-sarcastic tone suddenly made Nansen annoyed!What else does this vase-shaped girl have besides bright clothes, a pretty face, and a slender figure?Going to college, spending a lot of money, taking advantage of the wave of youth to enjoy the scenery, besides following the current habit, fishing for a wealthy son-in-law, what else is there to worry about in the future?He thought to himself, and blurted out: A girl like you just went to college for fun, played all kinds of tricks and had fun, and still wants to talk about it?I suggest you stop studying, find a rich account to get married, travel around the world for 80 days and forget it! Xiaocui was usually a girl who could speak well, but it was unexpected that she was bombarded by Nansen this time.Nansen roared like a lion, she blushed and her nose was sour, she couldn't speak, she was so frightened that she covered her face and sobbed. , was held back by the big baby. Hurry up and call the firetruck, Old Su said: Unprecedented bombing, Mr. Ha is so angry that he must pour cold water on it!I said, Brother Ha, I feel sulky, and it's so boring to hair on the girl's head!You go to university by yourself, besides coaxing everywhere, how can you make a difference?Why don't you apologize soon?This outing is all on you alone! He got angry and said harsh words, which made the delicate and naive Xiao Cui cry. Nansen was already embarrassed, but after hearing what Old Su said, he felt even more sad.But he was in a bad mood, and he couldn't turn around for a while. What Lao Su said was the truth. In the past two years in Donghai, he was useless except for shouting. Some students around him, no matter how indulgent or reserved, laughed or talked , In fact, he was more or less trapped in nothingness and decadence, he walked aside with his arms folded, determined not to speak anymore. Meiqian and Dawawa were busy comforting Xiaocui, and the rest of the students were surprised when they saw Brother Ha get angry for the first time.Old Su stepped forward and said: We don't need to pay attention to it, just let him cool off for a while, and we can just play our own game. Old Su used his vigor to lead a group of younger brothers and sisters to have fun.Meiqian dragged Xiaocui to play with everyone, Xiaocui pursed her lips very high, with a look of a wronged lady on her face, and squeezed into the crowd to make a log.In order to avoid embarrassment, Nansen crossed his arms and quietly walked away alone, looking at the surrounding forest. The worse the mood, the harder it is to appreciate the natural scenery, and everything seems to be separated by a layer.Lao Su drew back and tried to persuade him to apologize to Xiaocui, but he couldn't even muster up the courage, especially after the incident, he felt that he was not.Xiaocui is not the kind of girl he imagined, but more delicate and lively.When everyone walked back and stepped down the stone steps of the ancient castle, Nansen rushed over to support Xiaocui and said: I'm sorry, Xiaocui, I was in a bad mood and took my anger on you. I didn't intend to stab you. I'm sorry. Xiaocui whimpered twice, rolled her eyes at him and said: I will be mad at you all my life!You are in a bad mood, why don't you dare take your anger out on Meiqian?I didn't expect Brother Ha to be so fierce, and I won't talk to you again. Forgive me a little, may I invite you to watch a movie to make amends? Nansen talked good and bad along the way, playing a buffoon at all costs, and finally managed to coax Xiaocui into laughing, which made the cold air in the group of people more relaxed.He suddenly had a very funny feeling. Facing a coquettish and angry girl, he had a hard time coping with it. How could he talk about family affairs, state affairs, and world affairs?It's not easy to think about being a human being! Meiqian has already carefully noticed Nansen's restlessness this semester. The evening walk on Friday is still going on, maybe it is gradually entering late autumn. Although the late autumn on the island is not as depressing and chilling as described in Ouyang Xiu's Autumn Sound Fu, it always has a feeling of sluggishness.From the old and dense green forest, on the long and stiff grass blades, or through some fallen flowers that no one pays attention to, or through one or two brown fallen leaves, it is quietly conveyed to people's hearts.People are walking in the autumn forest, the twilight is desolate and late, and the words of people are locked in a lock, leaving only the heart-wrenching autumn feeling. Usually when the two of them took a walk, Nansen would happily find topics to talk about. She was just willing to be a sincere listener, but now, Nansen was always silent, and Meiqian took the initiative to tease him. He was a little distracted by the topic she started, and stopped after a few words, as if turning the walk into a routine mechanical exercise after dinner.Gradually, she found it difficult to bear his indifferent silence, and she even felt that this kind of walking without saying a word and having their own thoughts was a kind of pain to her. Finally, she tried like this: Nansen, have you been feeling unwell recently?If you're really uncomfortable, don't force yourself to take a walk with me. He shook his head and sighed. She added: What's on your mind?Did you have an awkward fight with Meizhen? He shook his head again, and fiddled with the blades of grass in front of him with the tip of his shoe: I don't know myself, it's just that I'm in a bad mood. If you ask me to tell you, I really can't tell you anything. I think you haven't jumped out of the troubles you felt during the summer vacation?Meiqian said slightly: "Young people don't know what it means to be sad, and you have reached a higher level. You are no longer such a young man who insists on worrying." He looked up at the twilight sky outside the forest, and the rolls of clouds burned by the setting sun, and said slowly: Donghai is a spiritual institution of higher learning. My worries may also belong to spiritual worries.Of course, its causes are complex.You know, I have always paid little attention to formal education, eager to pursue ideals, the ideals of the country and society. When the grinding wheel of time grinds me through, I realize that I have no ideals but no ability, whether it is academic ability or promotion. capacity for social life.I don't know if I'm dreaming or not, but I always feel that the whole outside world is a solid rock, but I'm a little creature hiding in a soft shell. I often feel that I have something to rely on, and once it touches the solid rock, it will burst.Sometimes I really want to give up all my ambitions and just be an ordinary person, keep my job, get married and have kids.The sad thing is that I can't and won't go with the flow like that, I may be speaking abstractly, but I'm sure you'll understand my sentiments. I understand.She said in a low voice like a whisper: Existence is a very deep forest. Everyone, at this age of maturity but not really mature, will explore with a little bit of wisdom. The phenomenon is very common, and it is gratifying. delightable?you mean? Yes.She said: At the very least, it proves that your soul is awake and thinking. This should be the most important juncture in life, either crossing or sinking.When you encounter it, you must be calm and avoid extremes. He stared at her beautiful and peaceful white face with ecstasy. When she spoke slowly, her black eyes shone with a deep light of wisdom, and there was a spring of life surging in it, no matter how deep it was. how deep.Since Meiqian was not older than him, he couldn't figure it out, where did she get this kind of Zen-like words from?He remembered that earlier, he had listened to Professor Ba Hutian's lecture on Buddhism, and her language was somewhat close to Buddhism. If it is extreme, what will happen to it?He said it deliberately. I heard that in a university in the north, a graduate student became crazy. He was barefoot all day long and gave incoherent lectures everywhere. There are more foreign students suffering from schizophrenia. She said: They are all because of extremes and cannot seek Self-crossing will become like that. According to you, I am really timid.He put a smile on his face and said: I simply lack the skill to cross myself. Start with the ordinary, Nansen.She showed concern and sincerity: Ordinary is the cornerstone of greatness, I hope you will keep Professor Hender's words in your heart.Show your love to Meizhen early, her life experience can make up for your lack. After you graduate and enter the society, you have a nest, so you are not afraid of wind and rain. Let me think about what you said, and he said: After what you said, I seem to be much more cheerful. The evening of November went too fast, the wind and sand rose, and the night fell slowly; along the way, he thought of Meiqian's words, like chewing an olive, with endless aftertaste; emotionally, this seemed to be the only There is a feasible path, Meiqian is his love, but she has long been determined for life, he should not get involved with her or with Chen, he can only go back to Meizhen, maybe Meizhen is still waiting for him , he comforted himself like this.After finishing his university studies and serving as an officer in the reserve army, he didn't want to take advantage of the heat wave to go abroad. At that time, he would go back to his social work position. If he had the opportunity, he would go to Meizhen again, express his heart to her, and seek the common happiness of the two of them.Although Meizhen said that the correspondence with him has been very sparse recently, but he always has a confidence in her affection for him. When he returned to the dormitory at night, he took out the box in which Meizhen's letters were placed, and read her letters carefully from the beginning, letting the true feelings expressed in those light words warm him.With excitement, he wrote a long, long letter and posted it to Meizhen early the next morning, hoping to get her reply immediately. The days passed day by day, but there was no reply from Meizhen. This year, Dadu Mountain is windy and rainless, and the wind and sand are much stronger than in previous years. The sand and smoke are flying all day long, making it difficult to open your eyes. It often makes people feel that it is the sound of rain. The colorful turbans fluttered in the wind, implying that Christmas is coming again. During the day, Nansen carries a book and walks alone in the blinding wind and sand. He is particularly sensitive to the depression of the winter scene.And many first-year freshmen, as if they were not affected by the seasons, were still jumping and laughing happily, so that the vast campus would not be too neglected.Various activities to celebrate Christmas are also in preparation. It's time to exchange gifts with Meizhen again.It was still Meizhen who sent the Christmas card first, without a gift, and the green bamboo on the card was still green bamboo, but with two phrases that surprised him and made him feel uncomfortable: Your letter came too late, Nansen.I got married last month, forgive me for not telling you.I don't know how to put it.Merry Christmas!Sincerely, Meizhen Holding the card, he stood in a daze under the shade of the trees near the post office. The wind and sand were blowing at him, and a few fish-like leaves landed on his shoulders. After shaking for a while, the card was taken away by the wind again. The green bamboo on the tree has turned yellow in an instant in his mind. Why didn't I think of it earlier?A girl who has not been able to continue her studies and entered the society, and her family environment is very poor, can easily embark on the road of marriage.I always have wishful thinking, so I don't know how much I have neglected her in the past two years?Regret is in vain, but at the moment when he has longing for Meizhen's feelings and yearns for sustenance, Meizhen is no longer the former Meizhen!She is no longer the girl in the white dress and black dress, now, she is a married young woman!Do you go back and keep that friendship?Maybe it will be like him and Meiqian, close and close, far and far away.Although the news made him sad and bewildered, he could only bless her from a distance, hoping that she had found the love she had, had a partner with the same interests, and a happy and happy future. He paced slowly on the campus, with an unconfessable anxiety in his heart. The wind and sand hit his face, but he didn't want to escape them at all.He climbed up to the water tower in the woods and looked around alone; his 20th birthday was spent happily on the flat top of this water tower amid the celebrations of several friends. Happiness, for some people who pay attention to real life For a person, it may be an entity that can be clearly felt, smelled or touched, but for him it is completely abstract, and before he reaches out to touch it, it has slipped away without a trace. Over the years, he has only fallen in love with two girls: Meizhen and Meiqian.Of course, admiration is not the so-called love, it can only be said to cherish and like it very much. Later, he realized that there is a strong element of love in it.This kind of love is no longer just the kind of detailed description read from novels, but a living emotion that beats with his heart.What was the result?Some were ignored by myself, and some were hidden by myself. They were originally sweet, but they all turned into bitter fruit. Why should he suffer for himself?If you don't want to be an ordinary person, you can't even get a little bit of ordinary happiness.Meizhen got married, but the wedding invitation didn't arrive, and she didn't even get a present, did she ever expect that?So what if Meiqian gets married in the future?In Donghai, he didn't intend to have a girlfriend, but Meiqian and Meizhen both caused him setbacks and pain. His thoughts were like a gossamer, unable to resist the strong wind, they were already broken and fragmented, and he didn’t know where to go. The sky gradually darkened, and the treetops around the water tower screamed in the wind. He buried his head in the Sitting between his arms, his ears were filled with the sound of the wind and the sound of sand hitting the tree trunks and the walls of the water tower.The sound is a bit like the big waves raised by the ocean, like the broken splashes left by the waves when they pass by.A person, in the emotional world, is also like a flat boat floating on the sea. When the turret is broken, the scull is broken, and he becomes a floating canopy on the vast sea, and he doesn't know where he is going to go?He hated everything from the bottom of his heart, even the growth of life. How good would it be if he was always an ignorant child?How nice it would be to never have vulgar worries?Knowing that this is even more impossible, it is difficult for him to stop the rise of this desire. No!Suddenly he blamed himself again, why should I be so cowardly?This is useless?With the ambition to carry the world on one shoulder, can't you shake this emotion?I want to cheer up and write a letter of blessing to Meizhen. When he returned to the dormitory, it was already dark, and the wind outside the window was still chasing him. When reporting the good news on Christmas Eve, Meiqian looked everywhere for Nansen but couldn't find her. When the students who announced the good news gathered at Pastor Pole's house and waited to leave, everyone felt that Brother Ha was in a bad mood and seemed to avoid them on purpose. Maybe he went down the mountain alone to sit in Carmen, or held a book Where to hide to find peace.Who knows?Even Lao Su and He in the dormitory couldn't tell when he fled alone. They were talking about Nansen, and Meiqian sat on the side without making a sound. The wind was howling at the windows, and the panes shook with cold, showing how cold it was outside; but in the parlor of the Reverend Pole's house it was warm, with sawn logs of pine roots burning in the fireplace. The flashing deep orange color reflects human faces. Above the carved hearth of the fireplace, there is a small manger. On the trough lies the Holy Child, and beside the trough sits Mary and three oriental saints. On the Christmas tree on the window lintel, the lights flickered on and off, and some snowflakes made of flocks stuck between the green leaves. Looking at the stove and the flickering lights, she couldn't figure out why Nansen became so depressed?She went to Donghai to meet him, and found that they had the same interests, got along well, and understood each other. She was satisfied with this kind of friendship. She admitted that from Nansen, she gained happiness that could stimulate her life. With such a friendship in life, What more can you ask for?In fact, Nansen became more and more depressed day by day, and the wild smile on his face also became dimmer day by day, and finally restrained. He had become so that she felt responsible, sustained by an underlying maternal concern that she hoped would give him the same joy and strength of lift.She firmly believed that her sincerity would surely make him accept the encouragement of this kind of friendship. People treat each other originally. Meiqian, Xiao Cui patted her knee and said, "Where is Brother Ha going?"How could you not know?He used to have everything to do with you. Maybe go drink the wind!Old Su said. The groups that announced the good news set off separately. On the coldest day of Dadu Mountain, the wind was so sharp that they sang. They had to form a horseshoe-shaped semi-circle, with their backs facing the strong sandstorm at night. You can only sing with your head down, otherwise, your mouth will be full of fine sand. At this time, Nansen was walking alone in the shade of the forest. With a feeling of picking up the past, he walked through the places where he and Meiqian often went for a walk. In the end, he braved the thick darkness and walked all the way to Dream Valley. The singing of good news came intermittently in the wind, and was carried away by another gust of wind. Such a solemn and hopeful song reminded him of the time when Meiqian sang hymns in Mingxian Hall. He quietly stood outside the window and watched. Looking at her scene, he never told anyone about this secret, and the glaciers of emotion in his heart began to melt at that moment.The beautiful and handsome face makes all the beautiful descriptions in the world become clumsy words, and her big sunken eyes shine with the brilliance of God's love. From her terrifying black eyes, he no longer doubts the existence of God. It felt like God wasn't helping him. At that time, I never thought that I would fall deeply in love with this girl with God's love in her big eyes. Of course, I never thought that I would ignore the love and waiting that another smart girl might have. This bitter fruit should be my own. tasted. Some people go to Dream Valley to cry, to cry for the love that cannot be grasped The well-known female writer Nie Hualing wrote about Menggu in this way. Through her extraordinary talent and profound understanding, she not only brought Menggu to life, but also brought to life many young souls who vomit dreams, and she is also reflected in it. Although he has tasted the bitter fruit twice in this respect, he has not really become that young: weeping for the love that cannot be grasped, at least, Nie Hualing's sentence is also a kind of hint and irony for his depression and depression?Along the way, he whistled low bass singer John.Baez's songs are crisp and bitter, as if they are telling sad stories one after another. The wind and sand were so strong.When he walked back to the dormitory, the waning moon had already risen, and the singing of good news everywhere had already subsided.What he finds comforting is that this year's Christmas, he spent it completely according to his own wishes, in peace, without going anywhere to share the atmosphere created by others, and without following others into the vortex of joy. On the way back, passing by the girls' dormitory, I found Meiqian's window, the light was still on, casting a dark shadow on the ground. I want to sincerely bless Meizhen, and bless you too!Looking at the window light, he thought: best wishes, don't be so sad.