Chapter 33 12. Let more people help you succeed

Whether you want to be an excellent employee or a successful person, don't forget this sentence: a wise man finds help, and a fool finds resistance.No one person can succeed alone.Getting more people to help you succeed is a great form of social intelligence. Not long ago, I read such a recruitment story in the newspaper: A certain company wants to recruit a marketing director. There are many applicants. After several examinations, only three people are left to compete for this position. In order to test who is the most suitable for this role, the company came up with a strange question: invite three competitors to pick fruit in the orchard.

Among the three competitors, one is agile, one is tall, and the other is short. It seems that the first two are the most likely to succeed, but on the contrary, the short man won in the end.what is this? It turned out that this test was carefully designed, and the fruits that the competitors wanted to pick were all in very high positions, and many of them were on the treetops.Tall people, although they can pick some fruits by reaching out, are limited after all.Although a person with agility can climb a tree, he cannot reach the part of the treetop.As for the short man, when he saw this situation, he ran to the door without saying a word.The gatekeeper is an old man who is also the maintainer of the orchard.The small applicant realized that this recruitment was unusual, maybe everyone was an examiner, maybe everywhere was an examination room, so when he just entered the door, he greeted the old man warmly.He humbly asked the old man how he usually picked the fruits on the treetops.The old man replied that he used a ladder.So he asked the old man to borrow the ladder, and the old man readily agreed.With a ladder, it was easy to pick fruits. As a result, he picked more fruits than anyone else.Therefore, he won the final victory and obtained the position of director.

From his story, can you see what the examiner is testing?What he is testing is an important part of team spirit. Through caring and supporting others, he can win others' help and cooperate with himself! The reason why many people find problems difficult is because they only rely on their own talents and abilities, but do not know how to get help from others.Some people even drive away those who could help them because they are too prominent. How can we enlist the help of more people? (1) Strengthening others and weakening oneself Everyone wants to be valued and recognized by others.Stupid people will only blindly emphasize their own importance, hoping to gain the respect of others.But this is like a rooster showing off its tail, which may not achieve the desired effect.Smart people are just the opposite. They always make others feel important first, and ultimately earn respect by doing so.

"Forbes" magazine once published this article on a prescription for good interpersonal relationships. There are a few points in it that are worth learning from: The five most important words in the language are: I am proud of you! The four most important words in language are: What do you think? The three most important words in the language are: Please. The two most important words in language are: thank you. The most important word in the language is: you. What, then, is the least important word in a language?it's me. Learn to weaken yourself and strengthen others.In this way, you will soon find that there will be more and more people who like you and help you.

(2) Long live the understanding?Understand what others don't understand first! We often say long live understanding.This is our call to others to sympathize with us.But what to do when people don't understand you yet? To understand long live, you must first understand what others don't understand!Long live the understanding, but also from me.Specifically, the following steps should be followed to resolve the issue: (1) Acknowledging a reality that others do not understand. (2) Respect others' incomprehension, because even incomprehension has its rationale. (3) Understand as much as possible why others do not understand.

(4) Make it easy for others to understand. Not long ago, I received a letter from a female cadre named Chen Dan, in which she said: Long live the understanding I proposed?Understand what others don't understand first!Her point of view has been of great help to her.She once attended a lecture on Constructive Thinking and Leadership Wisdom that I gave.At the time, I expounded on this point.This touched her a lot.Not only did she use it at work, but she even saved a marriage that was once strained with her husband and almost broke down. She and her husband were originally college classmates and have always been very affectionate.Moreover, with the strong encouragement of her husband, she participated in the competition and became a female cadre.But after becoming a leader, because she has a strong sense of responsibility and is also very busy with work, she spends less and less time with her husband.Slowly, the husband felt that he had been neglected and began to become dissatisfied, and even began to suspect that she had any emotional relationship with other male colleagues.The conflict between the two arose from this, and they began to blame each other. The husband accused her of changing her mind, and she accused her husband of being hypocritical.

After accepting my point of view about understanding long live, she began to reflect, is there really something she didn't do well?She began to try to think and deal with the problem from her husband's perspective, and tried to squeeze in more time to get together with her husband and exchange emotions.The husband felt that she still loved him as before, and slowly changed his attitude, becoming as supportive as before. She said with emotion: Don't blame yourself for not being supported by your husband.In fact, maybe we just need to make more bowls of noodles for our husband and say I love you to him, maybe that kind of care and support will appear in front of your eyes immediately.

Indeed, in communicating with people, not only must people understand themselves, but also others.Not only to understand others, but also to understand what others do not understand, and then strive for greater understanding from others. (3) Make good use of addition Make good use of addition, that is, increase the power that can help and care for you as much as possible.Addition is everywhere.Timing, location, and harmony, the combination of the three is the easiest to succeed.Turning a force that hinders you into a force that supports you is the greatest addition. In the Yuan Dynasty and the Qing Dynasty, both ethnic minorities ruled the Central Plains.When they first entered the Central Plains, Mongolia was very powerful, while the Qing Dynasty was relatively weak.But in the end, the history of the Yuan Dynasty was less than a hundred years, while the Qing Dynasty lasted for hundreds of years.why?Because the former only understands subtraction, blindly plundering and oppressing the Han people.The latter, relatively speaking, is more tolerant and makes good use of addition.

For example, Kublai Khan, the ancestor of the Yuan Dynasty, divided the people of the whole country into four classes: the first is the Mongols, the second is the Semu people, the third is the Han people, that is, the people of all ethnic groups under the rule of the Jin Dynasty, and the fourth is the Southerners, that is, the Southern Song Dynasty. people of all nationalities.The law stipulates that the Mongols beat the Han and Nan people, and the Han and Nan people are not allowed to fight back, completely placing them in the status of slaves.Another example is culture. Kublai Khan believed that both the Jin Dynasty and the Southern Song Dynasty died at the hands of Confucianism, so they got close to each other from the beginning and then gradually alienated and rejected Confucianism.

The Qing Dynasty was different. It not only attracted and enlisted many Han Chinese to serve as officials, but also attached great importance to the discovery of Confucian culture.In particular, Kangxi brought a lot of Confucian culture to the extreme.As a result, some scribes at that time who had the ambition to fight against the Qing Dynasty and restore the Ming Dynasty could only feel that the general trend was over.Addition became an important means for Kangxi to consolidate his dominance. (4) Good deeds bring good luck Everyone needs help from others. If we first become a person who can help others, others will help us, and sometimes this help is even doubled.

Edison was a poor kid who had no formal school education and was very interested in doing experiments and making inventions.However, because the family is poor, there is no condition for inventing.From the age of twelve, Edison had to sell newspapers and food on the train because of the pressure of life. In the next few years, he left his hometown and wandered around, living a life of hunger and cold. Once, when Edison was passing near the railway, he suddenly discovered that there was a child playing on the railway track, and a train was coming not far away, and the child didn't know it.The situation was so critical that Edison jumped down without hesitation and rescued the child. Afterwards he found out that the child was the son of the station master.This accidental event completely changed Edison's fate: in order to thank Edison, the station master decided to teach him the sending technique himself.Edison was diligent and studious, and after only three months, he was already very proficient in sending and receiving newspapers.This unexpected learning opportunity laid a good foundation for Edison's future development. Since then, he has embarked on the road of the king of inventions in the world. This is the law of good luck that is taught in Buddhist culture. When one encounters an unfavorable situation, selflessly dedicating to others often brings unexpected good luck.Although this method does not attract attention, it is extremely effective.