Chapter 20 Art No.37↓40: How to skillfully use the aggressive method

People have self-respect.Strong self-esteem is a valuable spiritual energy.But sometimes, for some reason, self-esteem is suppressed, and a state of inferiority and discouragement appears.At this time, positive enlightenment and persuasion often cannot cheer him up. If you consciously use negative stimulating language to join him, you can instead free his self-esteem from self-repression and achieve a new psychological balance, thereby improving his face. The courage of setbacks. As the saying goes: When water stimulates stones, it will sing; when people stimulate ambition, it will grow.In communication, according to different objects and different psychological endurance, the correct use of the provocative method can sometimes receive positive results.

There are three methods for reference: explicit stimulation, dark stimulation, and self-excitation. Thirty-seventh technique Ⅰ: Mingji To stimulate is to directly give belittling and negative verbal stimulation to the other party's state, to sting them, irritate them, and make them jump up, so as to achieve the purpose of changing the status quo. A company in Hong Kong recruited a director of the public relations department and offered an annual salary of 800,000 Hong Kong dollars.After the recruitment advertisement was published in Ta Kung Pao, the son of an employee surnamed Wang of the company happened to graduate from college. He hoped that his son could get the job, but his son hesitated to announce the job.When the employee was at his wit's end, his son's girlfriend spoke up and said, "Xiao Wang!Your father spent so much money for you to go to college and learn a lot of knowledge, but now he doesn't even dare to seek a public relations position, isn't he a wimp?

Am I a wimp?In a fit of anger, Xiao Wang went to the company to apply for a job and became the director of the company's public relations department. He did a good job and was praised by the company's president. It can be seen from this that the aggressive language directly belittles and denies the other party, and the words are harsh and irritating, which has a great stimulating effect on the other party's self-esteem.Often the other party is not convinced, does not admit defeat, and in turn negates your opinion with actions. This kind of negation of negation achieves the goal you originally intended to achieve.

Thirty-eighth technique Ⅱ: Dark stimulation Secret stimulation is to deliberately praise the third party, belittle the other party secretly, and stimulate the other party's determination to overwhelm and surpass the second party. When Carnegie first arrived in New York, he fell into the trouble of not having a job. He ran around, exhausted, and still got nothing.At this time, he met a man named Bill.Hosk's man, told him a story. This Bill, who lives in Dallas, is also new to New York, and he is also stuck in the predicament of not being able to find a job.Then one day, he finally found a job as a salesman.But he was not familiar with the place, so he didn't know how to sell it.A month passed, and he didn't sell a single thing.He was very distressed and began to think about why others would sell and he was so incompetent.Slowly he discovered that besides diligence and enthusiasm in selling products, it is important to let customers understand what use this product is for them?Because only useful things people are willing to buy out of their pockets.So, he persevered in familiarizing himself with the products, enthusiastically promoted them, and finally sold the first product.That night, he cried, and his hard work finally paid off.Since then, his sales performance has skyrocketed, and he became the company's best salesman, and a year later he became a top executive of the company.However, he told Carnegie that he came from a poor village and had only been in school for five years. He succeeded by teaching himself while selling.

The story told by Bill deeply moved Carnegie, making him understand that being a good salesman is a trivial matter, but the key lies in how you do it. There is also a story about Zhuge Liang slightly inciting Sun Quan: During the Three Kingdoms period, Zhuge Liang came to Soochow in order to unite Wu against Cao.He knew that Sun Quan was unwilling to be subordinated to others, and he could never persuade him. He could only irritate him secretly, but he could not directly say that he was incompetent.So as soon as they met, he talked about Cao Jun's strength and strength, saying: Cao Jun's cavalry, infantry, and sailors together numbered more than one million.

Sun Quan was shocked when he heard this, and asked: Is there a fraud in this? Zhuge Liang calculated one by one, and finally calculated that Cao Bing had 1.5 million.He said: I only said one million, because I was afraid that I would frighten the people in Jiangdong! The stimulating effect of this sentence is not insignificant. Sun Quan hurriedly asked Ji Yu Zhuge Liang: So, shall I fight or not? Zhuge Liang saw that the heat had come, so he further stimulated him, saying: If you think your troops are no match for him, surrender as soon as possible! This is another shock. Sun Quan's self-esteem was aroused by Zhuge Liang in this way, and he expressed his determination to fight Cao Cao, which achieved Zhuge Liang's goal of uniting Wu against Cao.

The above two examples are the magical effect of the secret stimulation method.The trick lies in the implication and insinuation, euphemistically conveying stimulating information.Obviously, people want others to respect themselves, and once someone brags about a third party in front of themselves, it will of course have a hint of stimulation to him, and he is determined to compare himself with the third party. Thirty-ninth technique Ⅲ: Self-excitation Self-motivation is to praise the other party's glorious performance in the past, thereby arousing the other party's determination to change the status quo.

For example: There was a female mathematics teacher who was not satisfied with her teaching work. In a school-wide examination of the same subject at the same level, 60% of the students in the class she taught failed in mathematics.Students and parents have opinions.The principal of the school held a student-parent meeting and invited the female mathematics teacher to attend.Faced with the dissatisfaction of the parents of the students, the principal asked the female teacher: You graduated from a normal school, right? The female teacher replied: Yes. The principal asked again: Have you been rated as a qualified high school teacher?

The female teacher replied: Yes. The principal asked again: Also rated as a model teacher? The female teacher replied: Yes. After answering three yeses, the female math teacher lowered her head in shame. Immediately, she expressed her determination at the student-parents meeting to calm down and teach the students well.Sure enough, the next math test, the test scores of the students she taught jumped up. It can be seen that, for depressed people, praising their bright past is undoubtedly a criticism of the status quo, which will cause him to reflect, awaken his conscience, and revive him.

The fourth ○ surgery Ⅳ: stimulation Guidance is to use inducing language to guide the other party's passion to the direction you want. For example: There is a student in a certain school who is notoriously naughty, and his academic performance is very poor.Once, he beat a female classmate with his hands and boasted that he was a good boxer.The teacher stopped him and said: What kind of hero is fighting?If you are capable, you can compare your grades with her!If you catch up with others in your semester exam, then you are the real hero! In a word, it inspired the naughty student to study hard. Later, in the final exam, his grades really improved a lot.

In short, it can be seen from the above examples that no matter which kind of provocative method is used, it will stimulate the other party's self-esteem in order to achieve the purpose of making people work hard. It must be pointed out here that to use the radical method correctly, several conditions should be paid attention to: ·It depends on what the subject is talking about.See if the party being provoked is an acquaintance?Have no self-esteem?Is it exciting.It should not be used by strangers. · Speak according to the timing.If the speech is too early and the timing is not right, it will easily discourage people; if the speech is too late, the good opportunity has been lost, and it will become an afterthought, and it will not be able to produce good effects. · Pay attention to your sense of proportion.Although stimulating language is used, the starting point must be correct, and it must reflect respect and love for people.Language that doesn't hurt or itch, of course, can't irritate others, but language that is too sharp can make people feel disgusted.therefore.When using stimulating language, we must pay attention to the sense of proportion, so as to receive immediate results.