Chapter 6 Chapter 6 Life

I love the air in the studio on winter mornings that is so tight and freezing that your skin hurts. I especially like to use cappuccino with sandwiches from nearby shops in the empty workplace.The aroma of the cappuccino tingles the nose with ethanol, dilute ammonia water, fortifying wax and varnish used in the restoration. It is even more pleasant to look at the half-restored works lined up on the table. Playing with the taste of the times when the painting was made I sat in the teacher's swivel chair and had such a blissful moment before anyone else came.This is the only moment of peace I've had since I started working here.

At that time, I would suddenly think of the transparent time spent with Aoi.For a while, Aoi was writing poetry.Although she had stopped writing when we parted, there were still a few lines of poems with faded handwriting in the corner of the notepad and textbook.Although they are all scribbles, many of them left a deep impression on me, and they were quietly copied and kept in my notepad. Made of quartz, hard Milan back alley in winter what signal let me be found boy's voice go back again be comforted say It's good to be alive Those poems were stuffed in my wallet.Take it out when you are alone.

Said not to go anywhere you're not here right now when?I can't find it always over I am here after all live too much A picture of Aoi was mixed in with the poem held by the paper clip.It's left over from the driver's license test.The only photo of her long hair before she cut it short.Hair straight and close.One night when she got tired of that hair, she took the scissors and cut it off.Eyes staring straight at the camera, pupils wobbling uneasily.The eyes, which reflect only a little light, look red and deformed. Drink up the cold cappuccino.Let's drink together to dry up the memories too.

After returning from Milan, it was good for me to recognize this old habit again, but one day in January 1998 the next year, the teacher suddenly said that the studio would be closed. Of course, the motive is obviously the cutting painting incident that happened the year before last. Shunzheng, sorry!Considering your future, I want to maintain this studio, but my heart is like Kosha's painting, leaving a crack that cannot be healed in a lifetime. The prisoner who made the teacher sad has never been found.Takanashi and Angelo continued to work. The teacher said to himself that if he suspected someone in the studio, he would simply close the studio, which would make him feel more relaxed.

Please don't worry about me, what you have to worry about is yourself, what are your plans in the future? The teacher shook his head feebly. I don't plan to work for the time being, I will go to an art school to teach prosthetics when I have the energy! Losing my teacher and this studio hurts me more than losing my job.I tried not to look depressed, but like a mountaineer who no longer has any mountains worth climbing, I lost all value in my life, and I couldn't pull myself together at all. If you can catch the criminal, how about venting? I said anxiously, but the teacher shook his head vigorously in denial.

Forget it, it's better if you don't know the prisoner, it's better if you don't know. The teacher shrank so much that it made me feel bad.In just a few months, striking gray hairs have emerged in her beautiful black locks. After the incident, the teacher no longer asked me to be a model.I knew she wasn't in the mood to paint.But on the other hand, I am worried that she hates me?I vaguely felt that Kosha's painting was cut because of me. One day, I summoned up the courage to ask her, did she stop painting?Giovanna smiled and said, I will ask you to be a model in a few days.But, I feel like those days never seem to come.

After the teacher decided to officially close the studio in the spring, Angelo immediately jumped to a hostile studio, and Takanashi also returned to Japan one month earlier than scheduled.In the severe cold season, other employees and trainees have also decided on new ways out. Only I can't afford the will to find a job, and I am at a loss every day. so what?Isn't it great?Such idleness.Yashi teased me who was bored at home. After returning from Milan, Yashi seriously went to language school.The shock of father and daughter not being able to talk changed her. No idea, I can't decide what I want to do.

It's not like you.Yashi hugged me. I really don't know what to do.I have been following the teacher in the restoration work.I was approached by several studios, including the one Angelo was working on, and the treatment was quite good.Because almost all the important paintings in Giovanna's studio are handled by me.Some came to me directly without going through the teacher.Francesca.Kosha's painting is one of them. But I have no desire to go to other studios right now.I couldn't jump ship to a once hostile studio as easily as Angelo.I love Giovanna's studio.I thought it would be alright to bury my bones here

It's good to hang around for a while, you can recall the past and draw a few pictures. I hold Bud.Her back is thinner than before going to Milan. Can this be done? I still have some savings, and when I run out, I can just find a studio to work part-time. Is this appropriate?Don't you feel great meaning in restoration work? It was just the break I needed as I gazed into the future of my life.Maybe I really went a little too far. Restoration work requires more mental leeway to keep you fully engaged.Although I didn't say it out loud, I really encouraged myself when I was holding Yashi at that time.Looking out the window, if only spring never came

One day in March, my grandpa suddenly came to visit me who was dealing with the closing of the studio, which surprised me from the bottom of my heart.Although he was a visitor, as soon as he entered the studio door, he folded his arms and looked at the tempera paintings on the wall.Seeing him approaching, retreating, and carefully watching the murals with great interest, the corners of my mouth, which had been squeezed for many days, returned to a smile. grandfather. Grandpa turned around and asked: Is this an imitation? ah? For a moment I didn't understand what he was talking about.I can't imagine that he asked about the paintings on the wall before he had time to catch up with his grandson.

Although it is tempera, it is Angelico's painting.It should not be possible to paint on the wall like this.But this is Florence's restoration studio, and it might be the real thing, I've been deliberating since just now. I finally understood what he meant. That's parody. really.But the imitation is really good.I saw the original in St. Mark's Basilica fifteen years ago.This painting is a very good imitation, who painted it? Probably the teacher!I was already here when I came, and I don't know. Grandpa walked up to me and punched me in the stomach unexpectedly.The fist was in the center of the socket, and I staggered two steps backwards unconsciously. Opportunity to take advantage of! He suddenly said loudly, and I couldn't refute or protest for a while, I could only stare wide-eyed.Grandpa smiled.Say your abs are working out!Stretch out your right hand and shake my hand.I grip back with all my strength. No matter how much you trust someone, you can't let him find out that you have an opportunity.Remember!Once a man goes out, he has seven enemies. It doesn't make sense! what do you know!Don't you live in a foreign country?Who knows what will happen. Are you alone? What's up? Are you coming alone? certainly. Why didn't you contact me first? I don't want to trouble you. What's the trouble?It's just to pick you up at the airport. Don't treat me like a child! Grandpa has always been a person who is reasonable and unreasonable.That's where he's most personal.Although he is seventy-five years old, there is still the possibility of coming to Italy alone.His face was rosy, his brows were raised, and he still looked like a stubborn old man. I laughed out loud.Grandpa turned his eyes back to the painting again, and repeatedly praised the painting for being so good! I introduced my grandfather to the teacher, and my grandfather asked a lot of questions about tempera painting in Japanese, which made the teacher very troubled. Shunzheng, you tell the teacher that I like Sienna's tempera paintings from the 14th century the most, the 14th century ones!Don't get it wrong! After I translated, the teacher held Grandpa's hand.Grandpa, who was in a good mood, said proudly that he visited Florence several times when he was young in order to read Angelique's works in person. Your grandpa is so nice!Giovanna said. The teacher knew that the 75-year-old grandfather came here alone from Japan, and he couldn't hide his surprise. I got time off because of a surprise visit from my grandpa.The teacher advised me to take a vacation, don't worry about work, and spend more time with my grandfather to fulfill my filial piety, but the studio is about to be closed, and my heart cannot be separated from the studio. However, I can't leave Grandpa alone on the streets of Florence.It was not my father or stepmother who raised me like a parent, but my grandfather.I also want to be filial while he is still in good spirits. From the next day, Yashi and I took my grandfather to visit various art museums.Although Yashi and grandpa met for the first time, they hit it off very well. Yashi soon walked around holding his grandfather's arm. We first went to the Monastery of San Marco.This monastery can be called the Angelica Art Museum, and it has a large collection of Angelique works.Grandpa was so excited that he took Yashi's hand and led us around without knowing who was the tourist. look!This is Angelico's representative work, the Preaching Picture.Impeccable composition.That charming charm.When touching this kind of work, it really feels like the soul has been cleansed.Just looking at it makes me feel peaceful and peaceful, and has the power to cleanse the complicated and trivial matters of the world. Yashi always smiled and listened to Grandpa's straightforward opinions. Following the picture of the Holy Annunciation, we saw Gido Appearing the Holy Face, Jesus Wearing the Crown of Lass and the Virgin Mary Coronation Touching us. Under Grandpa's explanation, we also became familiar with Angeliha.When he walked to the original painting of the Madonna of Linioni, which was a copy of the painting at the entrance of the studio, Grandpa breathed faster and spoke less. Take a break?Bud is whispering in my ear. I helped my grandfather walk to the St. Anthony's Cloister on the first floor of the monastery.The three of them sat together in the cold corridor to breathe the fresh air, waiting for Grandpa to recover his strength.So silent and sitting in the convent of San Marco, it seems to be living in the fourteenth century. I think back to the days when I came to Florence, the day I visited the teacher's studio, the days when I learned how to restore in the studio, and the painting cutting incident later.Then think about the future, the future, the closure of the studio, the unemployment, next year, May 2000 Do I intend to continue working in painting restoration in the future?Am I intending to make this work a vocation to devote my life to?I have no idea.Maybe now is the time to think about it. Have fun working!Grandpa whispered as if he could see through my confused mind. Yashi peeped at my expression with interest. You can forget about yourself while working. Do you think restoration work is right for you? I can't answer.I didn't think about whether it was suitable or not, I just felt a sense of mission.When I think of this job that can pass on the past to the future, I don't know where the energy comes from.When I think of the painting I restored and it will be restored by others after a thousand years, I feel that I can surpass the limit of human beings.But that is really a job that requires a lot of patience, and it is also a job where the results cannot be confirmed while alive.It is impossible to calculate how much one's own work contributes to the future of mankind. I don't know, but I think maybe it's not for you. No, I don't know yet.Too many things fall on my head at the same time, I always feel that although it is my life, I can't decide I am reminded of the painting of Kosha who was cut off.If the cutter had been one of my colleagues, I would never forgive him for the rest of my life.The dignity of the restorer based on the entrustment to restore the heritage of humanity I'm probably very self-aware!It wasn't like this before.For people who cannot commit suicide, restoration work can also have painful moments. You are at a loss!said grandpa. Ya Shi looked into the distance, pretending not to hear.I close my eyes and feel the cold wind blowing through the corridor.It feels like spring is still far away. How about trying tempera painting? This abrupt advice made me smile.Tempera?But grandpa is very serious. Copying for a while, from restoring the past homework to imitating the past painter Albert's homework, you may see things you didn't see in the past. You want me to be a tempera painter? That's an idea too. so suddenly! Grandpa stood up, just talking, but this is just my idea, you have to think carefully about whether to do it or not. Grandpa smiled.Ya Shi also laughed.I can only laugh along with it.The white air exhaled by the three of them fluttered with the air in the corridor.I'm not going to be a tempera painter!But there was truth in Grandpa's advice.I really limited my future too much.I need to face the world with a little softness. Grandpa stayed in Florence for about a week. During this period, he really didn't look like a seventy-five-year-old man who visited art galleries with great energy, and then transferred to Paris to reunite with his old lover when he was studying abroad.This was the first time I heard that my grandfather had studied abroad, and I never thought that his lover was still alive and in contact with each other.But I don't want to ask.Grandpa hates people worrying about him the most.He was the kind of man who would die if he said he was going to Paris, or he would not give up.When Yashi and I went to the airport to see us off, my grandfather smiled and said: See you next time in Tokyo! tokyo The next moment, Grandpa suddenly punched my stomach again, hitting my heart more accurately than last time, and I wobbled on Yashi's support. Grandpa laughed and said: There is an opportunity to take advantage of it! Yashi protested to his grandfather in astonishment: What are you doing? Don't forget the pain!It is better to know more about the cruelty of life! The corners of Yashi's mouth relaxed because he was too stunned.Grandpa said: If you want me, say see you in Tokyo! Tokyo?I muttered. Grandpa's ear came closer and said: What?Can't hear at all. I might go back to Tokyo now! After I finished speaking clearly, Grandpa nodded. ah?Back to Tokyo?Yashi leaned closer to my face and asked. Haven't decided yet, but that's a way.Maybe it's better to go back to Tokyo to sort out my mood before starting again.When a person is at a loss, it is better to make up his mind and try to change the direction.You're completely lost right now, and I don't think you can do a good job this way.Your room remains as it was then, and you can come back at any time. Grandpa left behind these words.The figure of a seventy-five-year-old man walking alone through the gate of the exit room is really thin.When I thought of this, a smile rose from the bottom of my heart inexplicably.What he wants to say must be that in the end the only one he can rely on is himself. I held Yashi's hand, and she immediately shook mine back. do you want to go backI will be lonely! I shook my head and swallowed what I wanted to say I don't know. When I return to Tokyo, I might see Aoi again by chance. Again, I want to see Aoi. A few days before the studio closed, Angelo asked me out.Let's meet in a downtown tavern.He said he must tell me something.Although I kept my distance from the job-hopping Angelo more and more, he said it was news about the prisoner, so I had to go see him. Angelo sat at the corner table in the dark shop.He had a resolute expression of determination.The store that plays Italian pop songs is full of young couples.There were also guests dancing on the small dance floor.There are also young people in this historic city that guards traditions.Most of the active people went to Milan and Rome, and the rest gathered in this lively place, chasing energy that could not be diverged. The volume coming out of the speakers made us have to face each other very close to hear each other.I desperately pursued Angelo's words. What did you say? Angelo's voice floated in the noise. Can you say that again!louder please! However, I can't judge what he said.His horrific babble kept spinning in my head and made me tremble. I bid farewell to Angelo and wandered alone in Florence late at night.I don't know where to go.I was walking along the Aruno River, and suddenly found that I was under Yashi's apartment, but I didn't ring the doorbell.After looking at her lit room for a while, I quietly turned and left. That painting was cut by the teacher Angelo's voice echoed in my head.The head repeatedly swelled and shrunk so rapidly that it was about to burst. What!Don't play tricks on me!Don't fool me casually. I'm not fooling you, can this kind of thing be a joke? The more I understand that Angelo's eyes are not those of a liar, the more confused I become.That painting was cut by the teacher The trainee saw it with his own eyes, but he didn't dare to tell it, because the truth was too scary, and he was very troubled to tell me secretly. Angelo's eyes were twinkling, with tears in his eyes slightly, and the edges of his pupils shone brightly because of the lights in the store. The teacher is jealous of you. Why? I am not sure as well.The teacher is jealous that your technique is more perfect than hers.right?This is a fact. The lyrics of popular songs and that sentence played on the stereo are burned into my ears. life, life, clie vita e, che vitan e What a fool! I turned my back on Angelo and tried to leave the bar.I can't stand the meaningless noise.I wanted to go, but my steps froze.My body couldn't turn freely.Angelo ran over and grabbed my armpit as I lost my balance and put my hands on the wall.I vomited as I breathed the still clammy late winter air in Florence. Shunzheng! I waved Angelo's hand away with all my strength. annoying!Don't spin around me! I pushed Angelo away, turned and ran towards the night city. Shunzheng!I am thinking of you I pushed away Angelo, who was chasing me, and ran forward, running at full speed in Florence at night Shunzheng!do not go!Angelo's voice sounded from behind.All voices shrank and disappeared in my head, only Giovanna's dark, melancholy face, which cut through Kosha's painting, emerged and flickered mournfully in the darkness. che vitan e, che vitan e Only the words of that popular song kept ringing in my ears.